Career and Life Coaching for Stuart Rochard

Click on the following link for your: Job Description for Technical Manager - Stuart Rochard Click on the following link for your: Management Skills and Styles Assessment - Abridged (MANSSA-Ab) Click on the following link for your: Multidimensional Emotional Intelligence Quotient (MEIQ-R7)

Career Coaching Session #1: Friday 19 February 2016

- Stuart's E-mail address is stuart.rochard@hadcoltd.com - Stuart is 51 years old, and is currently working at Hadco Limited as the Technical Manager in the Wine and Spirits division. - He attended secondary school at St. Mary's College and took business subjects for "O" Levels. - Stuart shared with me his work history prior to Hadco. He said that he spent a number of years in the banking industry and was quite comfortable there. He learned a lot about customer service, and to some extent, business development. - He was then approached by his sister-in-law Dianne Hadad to work in the field of Sales, and while he hesitated initially, he took the challenge because he needed more income than the bank was offering because he was now married with two small children. Much to his surprise, Stuart excelled in the field of Sales. He then moved to Pernod Richard, where he again excelled in Sales, far exceeding his sales quotas on a consistent basis. As with most sales organizations, his quotas were constantly increased because he was always far exceeding them, and his bonuses were growing larger. This became frustrating for Stuart, and he eventually left Pernod Richard. He again linked up with his sister-in-law Dianne at a new business she had started in Tobago, and he again excelled in a sales position there. He stayed at this job for a couple of years, but the travel back and forth from Trinidad to Tobago was taking its toll on his family life. - He was then approached by John Hadad of Hadco Limited because Stuart had developed a very good reputation for his knowledge and sales abilities in the Wine and Spirits field. Stuart gave Dianne three months-notice, and then joined Hadco as the Sales Manager in their newly formed Wine and Spirits division. Again, he hit the road running at Hadco, and essentially put them on the map in terms of their Wine and Spirits division. - He was then given the title of Technical Manager of the Wine and Spirits division, and his Job Description is attached here. - Stuart was asked to complete two Psychometric assessments assigned to him, namely, the Management Style and Skills Assessment (MANSSA), and the Multidimensional Emotional IQ Assessment (MEIQ), both of which he did promptly on 16 January 2016. I commended Stuart for his diligence in completing the two assessments shortly after they were assigned to him. - I asked Stuart if he would be willing to review the reports from both the MANSSA and MEIQ assessments before our second session on 4 March 2016, and he said that would not be a problem. Acknowledgements from Session #1: - I acknowledged Stuart for completing the MANSSA and MEIQ assessments - I also acknowledged him for coming to these Career and Life Coaching sessions to improve his performance at Hadco Limited. Takeaways from Session #1: - Stuart liked the process of doing the two assessments in order to develop more self-awareness around his strengths and limitations. Action Plan from Session #1: - Stuart agreed to review the MANSSA and MEIQ reports in more detail. - The next session was scheduled for Friday 4 March 2016 at 7:30 AM.

Career Coaching Session #2: Friday 4 March 2016

-Stuart and I discussed his workload at Hadco, and in particular, if he can better use technology (such as his mobile phone and Outlook) to stay organized and on-task. - Stuart said that he read both the MANSSA and MEIQ reports, and that he found them both very accurate and descriptive of his strengths and limitations. Here is a summary of Stuart's results from both assessments: 1 Results of MANSSA Assessment – Completed on 16 January 2016 The following is a summarized version of Stuart's results, categorized as Strengths, Potential Strengths, and Limitations. 1.1 Management Skills Potential strengths

Overall management skills show potential
Acceptable intrapersonal skills
Acceptable overall leadership ability
Sometimes utilizes transformational leadership techniques
Sets a fairly good example

1.2 Management Skills Limitations 1.2.1 Unacceptable people skills Communication Skills (score 43) Stuart's communication skills are average, so there is plenty of room for improvement. He should put some time and concentrated effort into developing his communication skills, and try to pick up a few new strategies along the way. Flexibility (score 50) Stuart is fairly flexible and accommodating. He usually keeps an open mind, and appreciates different perspectives and solutions. He is able to admit his mistakes and ask for support, and he occasionally takes a chance with the unknown. Soft Skills (score 52) Stuart has fairly well-developed soft skills. He has what it takes to create a cooperative, open, supportive, and friendly environment. In general, he is patient and considerate. Overall, he displays talent for building a rapport with others. Perfectionism (Other directed) (score 70) Stuart is bound by the cuffs of perfectionism. He is extremely critical and much too demanding of others. His beliefs often include "musts" and "shoulds" and he insists on perfection. He sets standards that others cannot meet. Criticism is not motivating for employees - he should work on his harsh and perfectionistic attitude. Self-Monitoring (score 42) Stuart's self-monitoring skills are fairly well-developed. He has a reasonable level of control over his emotions and thoughts, and can generally adapt his behaviour to fit the situation. Sensitivity to Social Cues (score 43) Although Stuart's score on this subscale is adequate, there is room for improvement. The ability to pick up on subtle social cues is important for managers, and may help to stop problems before they start. 1.2.2 Meagre executive skills Goal-Setting (score 54) Stuart is moderately goal-orientated. He focuses his attention on the big picture some of the time, but is often bogged down by details. He may aspire to be more globally focused, but feels uncomfortable trusting his employees to take care of the day-to-day details. Alternatively, he could simply be uncomfortable with delegation, and as a result, he may occasionally lose sight of his overall goals. Time Management (score 31) Stuart does not have a solid grasp of time management strategies. He has great difficulty setting priorities, following schedules, and finishing projects on time. 1.2.3 Rarely utilizes transactional leadership techniques Delegating (score 39) Stuart has an adequate ability to delegate duties and responsibilities to his subordinates. He needs to remember, however, that by handing work over to his junior employees, he is empowering them to learn more about their position as well as showing them that he has faith in their abilities. Perhaps he could benefit from delegating more often. Giving Feedback (score 61) Although Stuart has an adequate ability to give appropriate and motivating feedback, there is room for improvement. His feedback may not be as motivating as it could be. Rewarding Performance (score 54) Stuart sometimes believes it is necessary to reward hard work. He just needs to remember that when he fails to reward employees, they may feel underappreciated. 2 Results of MEIQ Assessment – Completed on 16 January 2016 The following is a summarized version of Stuart's results, categorized as Strengths, Potential Strengths, and Limitation. 2.1 Emotional IQ Strengths

His approach to problem solving is conducive to resolution
He typically acts in accordance with his values
He shows resilience/hardiness
He is driven toward further self-development
He is able to let go/rise above minor issues
He has a healthy level of self-esteem
He seems to be quite content
He shows social responsibility for the well-being of others

2.2 Emotional IQ Potential Strengths

He is doing reasonably well in the area of Emotional Facilitation of Thought
He does not ruminate excessively, which is good, but he also may not give things sufficient thought
His mind-set is moderately positive
He is doing reasonably well in the area of Emotional Understanding
He is somewhat empathetic
He performed relatively well on the emotional integration aspect of the test
He chose some reasonably good forms of resolution for conflict situations on the test
He is doing reasonably well in the area of Emotional Management

2.3 Emotional IQ Limitations

Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Identification, Perception, and Expression
His emotional self-awareness is limited
He doesn't seem to be entirely aware of his strengths and weaknesses
He is not very comfortable with emotions in general
He struggled with recognizing emotions depicted on the test
His social insight ability limited
His impulse control needs improvement
His self-control needs improvement
He needs to work on using healthier coping techniques
He is not very self-motivated
He has difficulty adapting his social skills to the circumstances around him
The manner in which he would resolve conflict situations on the test were not always the most beneficial
He is not very assertive
He seems to struggle to act independently
He is not in the habit of setting goals
His flexibility is limited

Acknowledgements from Session #2: - I acknowledged Stuart for coming to these Career Coaching sessions, and for reading through both the MANSSA and MEIQ reports. Takeaways from Session #2: -Stuart feels that he has a better awareness of his strengths and limitations from a management skills point of view, as well as from an emotional IQ point of view. Action Plan from Session #2: - Stuart agreed to try to better use technology (such as his mobile phone and Outlook) to stay organized and on-task. - He also agreed to choose five limitations from his MANSSA report as well as five limitations from his MEIQ report, that he would like to work on improving over the new year or so. - The next session schedule was scheduled for Thursday 17 March 2016 at 7:30 AM.

Career Coaching Session #3: Thursday 17 March 2016

- Stuart and I discussed how to better use technology to organize his time and appointments. In particular, I encouraged Stuart to use his smartphone calendar, which should be synchronized with his Outlook calendar on his office laptop, to book all of his appointments and tasks for each day. He should also use the following tips when setting up and using his electronic calendars:

Set an appropriate length of time for each appointment and task
Set an appropriate reminder for each appointment and task
Use the snooze feature if necessary when the time to begin a task or appointment comes up so that if he is not ready to tackle a task, the snooze feature will remind him shortly that he needs to complete that task.

- We then discussed the outcome of Stuart being more organized with his electronic calendar. In particular, this will give Stuart a good snapshot of each of his days, and will allow him to be able to assert himself more when he has to say NO to taking on too many tasks for a particular day. - Based on Stuart's limitations listed in his MANSSA and MEIQ assessments, along with upper management and HR's expectations for Stuart, the following represents a shortlist of Stuart's limitations that he should work on in the coming months: Management Skills Limitations _______________________ #1 Unacceptable people skills (A) His communication skills needs improvement (B) He needs to not be so bent on perfectionism from other people (C) He needs to develop better sensitivity to social cues #2 Meagre executive skills (D) He needs to develop better time management (E) He needs to learn to delegate tasks better Emotional IQ Limitations ___________________ #1 His social insight ability limited #2 His impulse control needs improvement #3 He needs to develop healthier coping techniques required #4 He is not very assertive #5 His flexibility is limited Acknowledgements from Session #3: - I acknowledged Stuart for continuing to come to these Coaching sessions to gain the self-awareness and tools necessary to improve his performance at Hadco. Takeaways from Session #3: - Stuart felt better about trying to use technology to improve his time management skills. Action Plan from Session #3: - Stuart agreed to use the calendar function on his smartphone and on the Outlook application on his laptop, in order to keep track of his appointments and tasks on a daily basis. He should also use the following tips when setting up and using his electronic calendars:

Set an appropriate length of time for each appointment and task
Set an appropriate reminder for each appointment and task
Use the snooze feature if necessary when the time to begin a task or appointment comes up so that if he is not ready to tackle a task, the snooze feature will remind him shortly that he needs to complete that task

- He also agreed to work on his Management Skills limitations as follows: #1 Unacceptable people skills (A) His communication skills needs improvement (B) He needs to not be so bent on perfectionism from other people (C) He needs to develop better sensitivity to social cues #2 Meagre executive skills (D) He needs to develop better time management (E) He needs to learn to delegate tasks better - He also agreed to work on his Emotional IQ limitations #1 His social insight ability limited #2 His impulse control needs improvement #3 He needs to develop healthier coping techniques required #4 He is not very assertive #5 His flexibility is limited - The next session was scheduled for Thursday 31 March 2016 at 7:30 AM.

Career Coaching Session #4: Thursday 31 March 2016

- We discussed the limitations that Stuart chose to work on from his MANSSA and MEIQ assessments, and from his blogging, Stuart was able to chose the priorities for these limitations. - I then told Stuart that I would provide him with the appropriate advice that would help him work on each of his limitations, which he said that he would welcome. These are provided in the Action Plan for this session. Acknowledgements from Session #4: - Again, I acknowledged Stuart for continuing to come to these Coaching sessions to gain the self-awareness and tools necessary to improve his performance at Hadco. Takeaways from Session #4: - Stuart is looking forward to working on each of his MANSSA and MEIQ limitations, and improving his overall performance as a manager. Action Plan from Session #4: - Stuart agreed to work on his Management Skills limitations using the advice and tips provided below for each of his chosen limitations: #1 Unacceptable people skills (A) His communication skills needs improvement

Listening is the first step to effective communication but it is often under-appreciated. You should note that the first and most important rule of communication is to listen, listen, listen!
Listen with purpose. If the communicator has not established the objective of the conversation, try to determine what it is as soon as possible (without interrupting, of course). If you know what the purpose of the conversation is, you will be able to listen more productively.
Ask open-ended questions. A simple "yes" or "no" question does not encourage a response that provides you much information. Consider the difference between "Do you like the report?" and "What are your comments on the report?”
Show interest in what the other person is saying. If you look bored, preoccupied, or annoyed, you will shut down the flow of communication. This doesn't mean you should fake interest, but you should find something interesting in what he or she is saying. Maybe you will learn something new.
Encourage the other person to speak. Show that you want to hear what a person has to say! Ask questions, let him/her speak, and be respectful of his/her opinion – regardless of whether you agree with it.
Don't evaluate or interpret other people's messages without real understanding. Take what they say for exactly what it is. For example, "I have some concerns about your performance" does not mean "I am going to fire you". Stay focused on what people are saying, not how you interpret it.
Put yourself in the other person's shoes. What seems completely unreasonable from your point of view might make perfect sense from someone else’s perspective. Perhaps the ideal solution lies in the middle. Try and keep some distance from the issue and be objective.
Paraphrase what was just said. Repeat back to the person, in a condensed form, the core of what he or she has said. This not only shows that you are actively listening, but also clears up any possible miscommunication.
Don't listen to only the speaker's words. Also pay attention to body language. If, for example, a person is telling you they are not nervous about something but the way she or he is acting physically shows the opposite, you may want to further investigate the issue.
Use eye contact and body language to indicate that you are interested and engaged in the conversation. Face the person you are speaking with and maintain eye contact (don’t go overboard - constant eye contact may be disconcerting). If you're fiddling with something or slumping in your chair, you're sending the message that what he or she has to say is not important.
Give feedback. Note the points that you agree with, paraphrase what the speaker says, and check with her/him that your perception is accurate.
Try to understand the feelings behind the words. Using "I" phrases, state your interpretation of how the person is feeling. (For example, "If I understand you correctly, I think you may be somewhat angry at Bob for the way you were treated.") Be very careful, however, not to make big leaps or put words in anyone's mouth.
Ask focused questions. If you really want to know something, don't beat around the bush - as long as, of course, it's not highly personal or delicate information. Decide first if you actually have the right to know that information.
Restate the conclusions. At the end of a conversation, summarize quickly what the main conclusion was to be sure you both understood the same thing.
Mirror the other person’s conversation style. Within reason, try to utilize similar facial expressions, posture and choice of words. This will put the other person at ease and will minimize the differences between you. For instance, if you are speaking with someone who seems to have a more limited vocabulary than you, avoid using difficult language in your conversation.

(B) He has a high degree of perfectionism towards others

It’s important not to be overly critical of your employees – set high standards of course, but make sure that you are not being impossibly demanding. Letting employees know when they have done something right as well as when they’ve done wrong is a smart strategy.
Pick your battles. When you start getting worked up about someone else falling short of your mark, take a few minutes to reflect. Is it worth raising a fuss?
Try and see the other person's side of the situation. How might it feel from someone else’s perspective? Note that in this imperfect world, very few issues are black and white. Take the time to ponder the inherent disorder of this world.
Make a concerted effort to compliment and praise others. By remembering to focus on the good things when they occur, you will appear more evenhanded to your employees. No one wants to work for a boss who only notices the bad things.
Reframe the way you look at others. You can really change the way you view others people's flawed efforts by reframing situations. To do this, it might help to keep a journal. When someone else's behavior drives you crazy, write down the situation as well as your feelings and responses surrounding it. Try to imagine how the other person might interpret and feel about the same situation. Write this down. Then write down alternate ways of looking at and responding to the state of affairs. By doing this you are teaching yourself to view scenarios from a global position. You will in time be able to spot your own assumptions, generalizations, and judgments.
Stop flying on "automatic pilot" and try to see the positive side of other people's actions and behavior. You can train yourself to empathize by doing exercises such as the following: If you are on the bus and spot a homeless person, a rowdy teenager, or someone else that you instantly have negative thoughts about, try thinking of life from his/her perspective. What must it be like to be him/her? If you stretch your mind and challenge your imagination, you will find yourself really understanding other people.
When it comes to more pragmatic concerns, work on compromise. If you are into tidiness and order and the person who shares your workspace is a slob, you have to meet him or her halfway. Constant nagging about details is a real downer that can corrode your relationship with others. Make a game plan together that involves you lowering your standards and the other person making some kind of effort to improve.
Learn to note and appreciate what your employees have done. Tell them! Learn to encourage without being demanding or unreasonable. You will feel more relaxed, and your relationship with others will improve.
Be aware of underlying reasons for your critical eye towards others. Sometimes being stressed out and feeling bad about yourself can cause you to be snippy with those around you. Work on relaxation and breathing techniques. Treating yourself well and working on your own self-esteem can help you be more compassionate with those around you.

(C) He needs better sensitivity to social cues

A manager must be able to pick up on social cues around him or her. This will help him or her to intervene before major problems occur, not to mention allow for much greater interpersonal sensitivity.
Make an effort. While you certainly can't fake empathy, you can increase your connection to other people by truly listening and trying to put yourself in their shoes.
Build meaningful relationships that teach you about human nature. By interacting with others on a regular basis, you can become more adept at identifying feelings in others.
If you're not sure how someone is feeling, ask for clarification (if it's appropriate). A simple, "How are you feeling?" or "Could you explain your perspective to me?" might do the trick.
Think globally. Put aside your own preoccupations to consider what might be going through other people's minds in different situations. Ask yourself how you would feel in a similar situation. In every circumstance, there are several perspectives. Try to identify at least 2 or 3 different ways to look at things.
Put empathy in action. Get involved in helping people in some way (i.e. volunteering); the closer you get to a situation, the more you will realize the difficulties others might be facing.
Recognize “The Fundamental Attribution Error”. We as humans often try to figure out why other people act the way they do. We often attribute unfortunate behavior on the part of others to dispositional rather than situational factors, like writing others off as jerks for snapping at us, rather than looking for external causes such as being sick or having been fired that day. As a result, we are less forgiving than many situations call for. Try to understand that others are under just as much pressure and stress as you are, so their behavior may not always represent who they really are as people.

Management Skills: Meagre Executive Skills (D) He needs to have better time management

Managers have a lot on their plates. Make sure you know how to balance your time so you don’t become overwhelmed.
Get up early. Getting a jump on the day makes a huge difference.
Analyze how you spend your time. Keep a log for 2 weeks of how long tasks take you. Get a good idea of time in relation to what you have to do.
Make lists. Start by documenting everything that you have to do, including regular tasks, occasional tasks and future tasks - whether the item is personal or professional in nature. Then prioritize them and put them into your Outlook and Smartphone calendars, spreading them evenly over days, weeks, and months. Assign days for doing certain regular tasks. For example, plan to do some evaluations on the 28th of each month, and plan to finish important paperwork on the 5th.
Break down demanding tasks. Sometimes, there may be several large and/or emotionally demanding tasks on your “high priority” list. Break them down into sizable chunks so that you get a lot done, but not so much that you become completely exhausted.
Make regular appointments to do the important things in life. If you are very busy but need to relax, unwind, or spend time with your family, then section off Sunday (or any other day that works for you) to do just that.
Be tidy. In order to get things done efficiently and to manage your time wisely, you must have essential things - desk, filing cabinet, address book - organized. Clutter makes you waste time and drains your energy. Establish a filing system for papers - arrange these things by subject, keeping in mind that those papers that need to be readily accessible should be easy to get to. Use obvious and intuitive labels. To test your logic, see if someone else can find something in your system. Regularly (every few months or so) go through your files to throw things out. You will find valuable stuff that you can use or deal with and you won't end up keeping reams of useless paper.
Don’t just ask yourself “Can I do that?” but also “Do I really want to?” With a schedule, you will soon get a good feeling of how much time things take and what you can realistically do. If something new is thrown on your plate, you can refer to your calendar and realistically determine whether or not you have the time to do it. Ask yourself if you can make the time and whether you actually want to. It is very important to learn to say no to commitments that you can't handle or that aren't necessary or important to you. Taking on a task that you don’t have time to complete will only lead to more stress later on, regardless of your initial good intentions.
Think of innovative solutions to time-wasters. Think of how you can do two things at once and avoid having to do the same thing twice. For instance, when conducting interviews, have some catch-up reading to do in case any of your appointments are late.
Be prepared for repetitive tasks. For example, have form letters prepared for communication you will need to send on a regular basis. Don’t waste your time thinking about things that could be done automatically.
Use waiting time effectively. If you travel on the bus or subway to work, use the time efficiently. You can do work, or you can relax and recuperate. Practice breathing deeply and let yourself daydream – allow your mind to slow down. Think of a bus ride as a mini-vacation. If you drive to work, listen to educational or self-help tapes or inspiring music - anything of benefit to you as a person.
Take action on small things (inbox, messages, papers) right away. File it, throw it away, pass it on, or deal with it. Just don't have a pile of menial "to do" items. If someone puts a message on your desk, get it out of the way immediately.
The secret of applying all these time management tips lies in focus. 80% of unfocused energy yields 20% results. With proper planning, 20% of your energy can result in 80% of results. You must learn to focus. It is easy to zoom about at high speed - being really busy and not actually getting anything done. It is essential that you get yourself into a “zone” and see tasks through to the end.
Don't procrastinate. Chronic procrastination only creates more stress and problems, and it is absolutely counterproductive to the task of managing. If you really feel the need to put something off, don’t just sit there…get something else equally important done instead. Then get right back to the task at hand.

(E) He needs to delegate better

If someone else is capable of doing something or taking on part of the responsibility of a task, then have the smarts to hand over some of the work.
Do not worry if someone else might not do a task quite as well as you might. As long as they complete the task with acceptable accuracy and timeliness, then don't be reluctant to give them the task to do.

- He also agreed to work on his chosen Emotional IQ limitations using the advice and tips below: #1 He has limited social insight ability

Put aside your own preoccupations. Consider what might be going through other people's minds in different situations. Ask yourself how you would feel in a similar situation - there are always several perspectives. Try to identify at least 2 or 3 different ways to look at it.
Understand that everyone has his or her bad days. Sure it can be hard to overlook it when someone snaps at you or is otherwise unpleasant, but remembering that nearly everyone is unpleasant sometimes when under stress (even you!) can help you learn to take things less personally.
Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Think about how your actions will affect others before you act. If you are unsure, ask! Not everyone thinks the same way you do. If your actions will have an effect on others, ask them if they are ok with the decision before you act.
Be aware of how others respond to you. Pay attention to how others are reacting, and what they are communicating to you. Putting in the extra effort to really listen and observe can teach you a lot about human interaction and emotions.

#2 His impulse control needs improvement

Know Your Values: When you know what is important to you, you are able to make choices that lead you to happiness and success.
Know What You Want to Achieve: Ensure you have clearly defined goals. What is it that you want to achieve exactly? Having a clear understanding of what you want to achieve longer-term can help you make a choice in delaying gratification to help you reach your ultimate goal.
Create a Plan: When you understand your values and know what you want to achieve, creating a plan to help you get there can remind you of the choices you need to make along the way and reinforce the process of delaying gratification.
Prioritize: Being able to prioritize what is important to you and what you want to achieve helps you make the choice to delay gratification.
Reward Yourself: Delaying gratification can be hard-work. Depending on what you want to achieve, it may take weeks, months, years, and sometimes even decades. Breaking down your goals and rewarding yourself along the way can remind yourself that delaying gratification is leading you to where you want to go.

#3 He needs healthier coping techniques required

Identify stressors. What causes you to feel stress? Becoming aware of how you cope is the first step to improving your overall coping skill.
Get moving. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress.
Engage socially. Reach out and build relationships because social engagement is the quickest, most efficient way to rein in stress and avoid overreacting to internal or external events that you perceive as threatening.
Alter the situation. If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.
Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, be more assertive and communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the stress will increase.
Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you’ll find it easier to stay calm and focused.
Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
Accept the things you can’t change. Many sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors, such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.
Make time for fun and relaxation. Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors.
Adopt a healthy lifestyle. In addition to regular exercise, there are other healthy lifestyle choices that can increase your resistance to stress, like a healthy diet and getting enough sleep.

#4 He is not very assertive

Start small. Try to be assertive in mildly tense situations, such as requesting to be seated at a different spot at a restaurant.
Learn to say no. People worry that saying no is selfish. It’s not. Rather, setting healthy limits is important to having healthy relationships.
Let go of guilt. Being assertive can be tough — especially if you’ve been passive or a people-pleaser most of your life. The first few times it can feel unnerving. But remember that being assertive is vital to your well-being. “Assertive behavior that involves advocating for oneself in a way that is respectful of others is not wrong — it is healthy self-care,” Marter said.
Express your needs and feelings. Don’t assume that someone will automatically know what you need. You have to tell them. Again, be specific, clear, honest and respectful.

#5 He has limited flexibility

Try to believe that when one door closes, another better door will open.
This is the key to flexibility because we often become afraid and inflexible when a situation does not work out to our liking.
Instead, try to take things in stride and have the confidence to know that God is in control, and wants the best for you always.

- The next session was scheduled for Wednesday 19 April 2016 at 7:30 AM.

Career Coaching Session #5: Wednesday 19 April 2016 - Stuart updated me on the use of Outlook's calendar feature to keep track of most of his appointments. He said that it was giving him a greater sense of control and organization, and that he felt that it might reduce his stress levels when interacting with fellow employees. - Next, we tested the synchronization between Stuart's iPhone calendar and his laptop's Outlook calendar, and it is working well. Appointments made in either device show up within seconds on the other device, which Stuart liked. - Next, Stuart practiced adding calendar appointments right from his iPhone because he does not always have his laptop with him, and he was only adding appointments from his laptop. Stuart found the process quite easy, and he plans on using his iPhone more regularly to schedule appointments and tasks, especially when they come up suddenly. This will replace the practice that he has of writing these tasks or appointments in his notepad, which he keeps in his briefcase. - I also encouraged Stuart to give each task or appointment sufficient time to complete when he adds it to his calendar. We also set the default reminder for regular appointments or tasks to 15 minutes prior to the event or task, while we set the default reminder for an all-day event to 2 days to give Stuart enough time to ensure that all preparatory tasks have been completed (e.g. supplier visits). - Next, Stuart shared with me that he is trying to be more conscious of people's workloads and even moods, when he has to call them or approach them to assist him with one of his projects or customer requests. He said that instead of asking the person to assist him right away, he is now trying to ask them when would be a good time to meet to discuss his request. - Stuart shared with me that he is now able to say "No" in a polite way when asked to do a task on a given day when he looks at his calendar for that day and sees that it is full. Acknowledgements from Session #5: - I acknowledged Stuart for making better use of his Outlook and iPhone calendar features to achieve better time management and organization. - I also acknowledged him for trying to develop better social insight with his fellow employees. Takeaways from Session #5: - Stuart feels that because he now has better time management and organizational skills, he is able to be more assertive with others. Action Plan from Session #5: - Stuart agreed to continue working on his MANSSA and MEIQ limitations from session #4 using the advice given in the action plan for that session. - The next session was scheduled for Thursday 16 June 2016 at 7:30 AM.

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Career Coaching Session #7: - - - - Acknowledgements from Session #7: - Takeaways from Session #7: - Action Plan from Session #7: - - The next session was scheduled for...

Career Coaching Session #8: - - - - Acknowledgements from Session #8: - Takeaways from Session #8: - Action Plan from Session #8: - - The next session was scheduled for...

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