Career Coaching for Chelsea Jardim

Click on the following link for your: Vocational Style & Personality Assessment (VoSPA) Click on the following link for your: Values Profile Assessment (VaPro) Click on the following link for your:Mutli-Dimensional Emotional Intelligence Quotient (MEIQ) Click on the following link for the: O*Net Online Career Research Tool Click on the following link for the: Divine Office Breviary Website

Career Coaching Session #1: Thursday February 7, 2013

- Chelsea's E-mail address is chels.jardim@hotmail.com - Chelsea is 15 years old - She attends secondary school at St. Joseph's Convent (POS) and she is currently in Form 4. - She takes the following subjects with her current level of passion for each subject shown next to each subject: Spanish (likes), French (likes), English Language (somewhat likes), English Literature (somewhat likes), History (somewhat likes), Geography (doesn't really like), Biology (doesn't really like), Math (doesn't like at all). - Chelsea shared that she does not like sciences and math in general, but is tolerating Biology. She did well in Form 3 Biology, but the first term of Form 4 Biology was tough for her. She is trying to put more effort into Biology in the second term of Form 4. - She believes that teachers can have a great influence on whether students like specific subjects or not, and that is why she likes Spanish and French so much, because in general she has had good teachers in these subjects from Form 1. - Chelsea shared that she likes to understand how people and the human mind in general works, and she is very interested in the field of Psychology. - She also shared that she would like to have a profession where she can help people and possibly more specifically children. She sees a lot of girls in her school that have emotional problems and come to school crying. - I discussed the results of the VoSPA assessment with Chelsea, specifically her scores in the various categories of Interests, Intelligence Types, Values, and Work Styles. Her scores can be reviewed in the report itself. - Here are the careers that the VoSPA assessment recommended for Chelsea and how she rated them in terms of her passion level (1 is no passion and 10 is the highest passion):

Arbitrators, Mediators, and Conciliators (6/10)
Communications Teachers, Post-secondary (7/10)
Lawyers, Judges, Magistrate Judges, and Magistrates (9/10)
Educational, Vocational, and School Counselors (10/10)
Equal Opportunity Representatives and Officers (5/10)
Mental Health and Substance Abuse Social Workers (8/10)
Public Relations Managers (7/10)
Mental Health Counselors (8/10)
Medical and Public Health Social Workers (6/10)
Training and Development Managers (7/10)

- Chelsea seems to lean more toward a career in the fields of Psychology and languages. She believes that the educational system her in Trinidad tends to under estimate the value of languages for a career. - She is thinking of taking French, Spanish, and Sociology in Form 6, but she might consider taking Biology instead of one of the languages to leave her options open for a possible career in the field of Psychology. - I asked Chelsea if she would be willing to complete the Values Profile assessment as this would also help her in discerning the best career path to match her values, and she said yes. Acknowledgements from Session #1: - I acknowledged Chelsea for completing the VoSPA assessment - I also acknowledged her for coming to these Career Coaching sessions to get a better understanding of what career path she would like to pursue. Takeaways from Session #1: - Chelsea liked the process of doing the assessment she feels a little clearer about the process of career discovery. Action Plan from Session #1: - Chelsea will review the VoSPA report in more detail and research on the Internet using the O*Net Online Career Research Tool (www.onetonline.org) the recommended careers above which she scored 7 or more out of 10, and document her research in this password-protected blog under the section at the end called “Leave a Reply”. In particular, she should at least copy and paste the following sections from the O*Net site into the blog: Tasks, Knowledge, Related Careers, and Wages & Employment Trends. The careers on her shortlist are:

Educational, Vocational, and School Counselors (10/10)
Lawyers, Judges, Magistrate Judges, and Magistrates (9/10)
Mental Health and Substance Abuse Social Workers (8/10)
Mental Health Counselors (8/10)
Communications Teachers, Post-secondary (7/10)
Public Relations Managers (7/10)
Training and Development Managers (7/10)

- She also agreed to see if any of the careers in the Related section of the O*Net Online website catch her interest, and to put those in the blog as well. - Chelsea also agreed to the Values Profile assessment. - The next session was scheduled for Tuesday February 19, 2013 at 3:00 PM.

Career Coaching Session #2: Tuesday February 19, 2013

- Chelsea completed her research on the various careers on the VoSPA report using the O*Net Online tool, and she recorded her findings in the Comments section of this blog, which I commended her for doing. - I then asked Chelsea to re-rate the various careers on the report, and here were her new ratings, and the careers that now score 7 or more out of 10, including an additional one that Chelsea saw in the O*Net Online database called "Child, Family and School Social Worker":

Child, Family and School Social Worker (10/10)
Educational, Vocational, and School Counselors (9/10)
Public Relations Managers (9/10)
Mental Health and Substance Abuse Social Workers (8/10)
Mental Health Counselors (8/10)
Communications Teachers, Post-secondary (7/10)
Training and Development Managers (7/10)

- We discussed how Chelsea would rate herself in terms of her emotional IQ (EIQ) and she said that she is strong emotionally, but she also shared about her own family situation regarding her Mom and Dad not being together since she was very young, but that she has a good relationship with her Dad now. She also shared some feelings of resentment that she has toward one of her Dad's "friends", and how this "friend" seems to have taken away so much of her Dad's time from her, and also some financial resources. I acknowledged Chelsea for being open and direct about this situation, and even her willingness to confront this friend if the occasion arose in the future. - I stressed the importance of developing a healthy EIQ as Psychologists have recently discovered that it is as important and maybe even more important than having a high IQ score. I asked her if she would be willing to do the MEIQ assessment and she said yes. - We also discussed Chelsea's spirituality, and she said that she attends Mass every Sunday, and that she really believes in the depths of her heart that God loves her unconditionally all the time, which I told her was a great place to be!! We both felt that only about 10% of teenagers and even adults felt that way about their relationship with God. - The following careers from the VoSPA assessment still interest Chelsea, as they are the ones where her passion level is 8 or more out of 10:

Child, Family and School Social Worker (10/10)
Educational, Vocational, and School Counselors (9/10)
Public Relations Managers (9/10)
Mental Health and Substance Abuse Social Workers (8/10)
Mental Health Counselors (8/10)

Acknowledgements from Session #2: - I acknowledged Chelsea for the thorough research that she completed on the various careers on the VoSPA report, and for documenting her findings in this password protected blog. - I also acknowledged Chelsea for being open and direct about the situation with her Dad's friend, and even her willingness to confront this friend if the occasion arose in the future. - I also acknowledged her for the close relationship that she has with God, and her confidence that God really loves her! Takeaways from Session #2: - Chelsea is feeling better and more focused about her career path, especially in the field of child social work. Action Plan from Session #2: - Chelsea agreed to complete the Values Profile assessment. - The next session schedule was scheduled for Tuesday February 26, 2013 at 3:30 PM

Career Coaching Session #3: Tuesday February 26, 2013

- Chelsea and I discussed the results of her Values Profile assessment and the results below are a summary of Chelsea's top values - those that are most important to her and on which she bases her life decisions and goals. Her Core Value is her top value overall. Her Work Value is her top value in her professional life, and takes into account aspects like career path, work tasks, and job environment. Her Personal Value is her top value in her personal life and reflects issues related to relationships, hobbies, and world view. Top Core Value: Social Values Those who place importance on social values enjoy being helpful, kind and agreeable. They think it's important to try to find the good in everyone, and have faith that if they dig deep enough, they'll find it. They give of themselves, whether on a small scale (e.g. by spending time with a friend in need), or on a global scale (e.g. by volunteering for a human rights organization). In helping others overcome obstacles, people with social values hope to assist them in becoming the best they can be. They are giving and compassionate individuals. Social people likely become passionately angry at signs of social injustice. They enjoy and benefit from being with others, both in their work and personal sphere, and as a result, seek out jobs and activities where this is possible. In times of crisis and change, people with social values are both a source of comfort for their family and friends, and able to be comforted by them as well. Top Personal Value: Social Values For people whose top personal value is social, their interests, hobbies, home life and general attitude will revolve around people. In their free time they seek to be surrounded by those they care about, as relationships in general are very important to them. On a wider scale, they may start social causes or respect and support those people who fight for them. Those with social values have a knack for networking and connecting with others - they simply cannot imagine their lives without the camaraderie of others. While almost anyone would dislike conflict, people with strong social values are particularly affected by it. It bothers them to see others in pain or to see a relationship break apart, and so they will strive to help, heal, and resolve disagreements. Top Work Value: Social Values People for whom social values are important in work settings are happiest and utilize their talents best when their job does some good for mankind, they have contact with people, and/or they do not feel that they are taking advantage of others. People with social values either work or see themselves working in a "helping" profession (e.g. medicine, nursing, teaching, or counseling). Even if they don't, they probably bring a sense of humanity to their position that makes them considerate to fellow employees, employers and clients. They are often very personable colleagues - people may come to them for help and advice, and they are often well-liked. If social people work in a position where they do not have contact with others, either coworkers or the public, they may feel lonely and frustrated, especially if their job doesn't satisfy any other values they may hold. - The suggested occupations for those with social values are:

Caregiver/Nurse
Physical Therapist
Animal Trainer
Teacher
Counselor/Social Worker/Psychologist
Personnel Trainer
Civil Rights Lawyer
Receptionist
Customer Service Representative
Retail Salesperson

- I pointed out to Chelsea that the career category above Counselor/Social Worker/Psychologist is inline with the careers that she showed a strong interest in from the VoSPA assessment, namely:

Child, Family and School Social Worker (10/10)
Educational, Vocational, and School Counselors (9/10)
Public Relations Managers (9/10)
Mental Health and Substance Abuse Social Workers (8/10)
Mental Health Counselors (8/10)

- Chelsea also discussed her relationship with her father and shared an incident that happened in January 2011 when her Dad was dropping her to school. This incident in which her Dad showed a lot of anger toward Chelsea, upset her tremendously and she did not speak to her Dad for about nine months. She said that she is much better with him now, but he still has anger outbursts that bother her and her Mom. - I asked Chelsea if she would mind if I gave her a book to read entitled "Bradshaw on the Family", and she was delighted to get the book and to start reading it. I said that she would find the contents very interesting and helpful because of her Mom and Dad's separation and how it has affected her. - I asked Chelsea if she would be willing to do the Multidimensional Emotional IQ (MEIQ) assessment, and she agreed to do it. - We also discussed Chelsea's spirituality and she said that she really enjoys going with her Mom on the foreign trips for ministry work (e.g. to Brazil). Acknowledgements from Session #3: - I acknowledged Chelsea for completing the VaPro assessment. - I also acknowledged her for sharing that hurtful incident with her Dad from 2011, and how it affected her. - I also acknowledged her for her keen interest in her Mom's ministry work and her interest in spirituality. Takeaways from Session #3: - Chelsea shared that she feels so clear minded and that it was interesting in terms of we have discovered so far. She said that she is excited with her career path discovery and that she was glad that things are turning out well. - She said that she was looking forward to her next session and that she was excited to do the MEIQ assessment. - She thank me for my help in being there for her. She also said that it feels good to talk to someone who understands and that it warms her heart. Action Plan from Session #3: - Chelsea agreed to read the Values Profile assessment report in more detail. - Chelsea also agreed to complete the MEIQ assessment. - She agreed to continue researching and trying to narrow down and eliminate any unwanted careers on her shortlist:

Child, Family and School Social Worker (10/10)
Educational, Vocational, and School Counselors (9/10)
Public Relations Managers (9/10)
Mental Health and Substance Abuse Social Workers (8/10)
Mental Health Counselors (8/10)

- She also agreed to start reading the book "Bradshaw on the Family." - The next session was scheduled for Tuesday March 5, 2013 at 3:30 PM.

Career Coaching Session #4: Tuesday March 5, 2013

- In this session, we discussed the results of Chelsea's MEIQ assessment and her score was 86/155. Chelsea's score on this assessment was not very strong. This is a concern because this test was designed to flag those individuals who might have limitations in understanding their own emotions and those of others. This area can certainly be improved with effort; however, for some people, it is difficult to improve without help. Seeking guidance from a professional (psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, etc.) would probably be a great start to improving. On a positive note, awareness is key to helping Chelsea find the motivation to improve in this area, and knowing which areas she most needs to work on developing. - Here are the graphs of her detailed scores in the various categories of EIQ:

- The following is a summarized version of Chelsea's results, categorized as Strengths, Potential Strengths, and Limitation. Strengths

She is socially insightful
She is able to let go/rise above minor issues

Potential Strengths

She is moderately comfortable with emotions in general
She was sometimes able to recognize the emotions depicted on the test
She does not ruminate excessively, which is good, but she also may not give things sufficient thought
Her approach to problem solving is sometimes conducive to resolution
She sometimes acts in accordance with her values
She is somewhat empathetic
She is sometimes able/willing to adapt her social skills to the circumstances around her
She is moderately assertive
She is sometimes able to act independently
She shows some social responsibility for the wellbeing of others

Limitations

Her overall emotional IQ needs improvement
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Identification, Perception, and Expression
Her emotional self-awareness is limited
She doesn't seem to be entirely aware of her strengths and weaknesses
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Facilitation of Thought
Her mindset could stand to be more positive
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Understanding
She struggled with the emotional integration aspect of the test
She did not always choose the most ideal form of resolution for conflict situations on the test
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Management
Her impulse control needs improvement
Her self-control needs improvement
Her resilience/hardiness needs further development
She needs to work on using more healthy coping techniques
She is not very self-motivated
She doesn't seem to be enthusiastically interested in striving for further self- development
The manner in which she would resolve conflict situations on the test were not always the most beneficial
Her self-esteem needs to be strengthened
She does not seem to be very content
She is not in the habit of setting goals
Her flexibility is limited

- I asked Chelsea if she would be open to further Life Coaching to improve her overall EIQ and she said that she would consider it. She felt that nothing was really wrong with her emotionally, and I shared with her that the separation between her Mom and Dad when she was just three years old might have had some effects on her at an underlying emotional level. Acknowledgements from Session #4: - I acknowledged Chelsea for completing the MEIQ assessment and discussing the results with me. Takeaways from Session #4: - Chelsea said that it was good to understand herself emotional after seeing the results of the MEIQ assessment. - She is also quite satisfied that after four sessions, she had a good idea of her career path direction in the fields of Counseling, Social Work, and Psychology. Action Plan from Session #4: - Chelsea agreed to read the MEIQ assessment report in more detail, and look at the information given in the last section entitled "Advice". - She agreed to continue researching and learning more about these two careers on her final shortlist:

Child, Family and School Social Worker (10/10)
Educational, Vocational, and School Counselors (9/10)

- She also agreed to continue reading the book "Bradshaw on the Family." - The next session was scheduled for Tuesday March 19, 2013 at 3:30 PM.

Life Coaching Session #5: Tuesday March 19, 2013

- We discussed Chelsea's spirituality and she said that it has deepened since she started taking Confirmation classes a few months ago. She said that she really enjoys the missionary trips to South America with her mother. - I asked Chelsea to prioritize her limitations from the MEIQ assessment, focusing on her top five limitations that she would like to work on over the next year. Here is her list: - Limitations

Her self-control needs improvement (#1)
She did not always choose the most ideal form of resolution for conflict situations on the test (#2)
Her mindset could stand to be more positive (#3)
Her emotional self-awareness is limited (#4)
Her impulse control needs improvement (#5)
Her overall emotional IQ needs improvement
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Identification, Perception, and Expression
She doesn't seem to be entirely aware of her strengths and weaknesses
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Facilitation of Thought
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Understanding
She struggled with the emotional integration aspect of the test
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Management
Her resilience/hardiness needs further development
She needs to work on using more healthy coping techniques
She is not very self-motivated
She doesn't seem to be enthusiastically interested in striving for further self- development
The manner in which she would resolve conflict situations on the test were not always the most beneficial
Her self-esteem needs to be strengthened
She does not seem to be very content
She is not in the habit of setting goals
Her flexibility is limited

- I then asked Chelsea if she would be willing to work on limitations #1 and #2 in the coming week, and she agreed to do so. These are:

To try to improve her self-control
To try to choose more ideal forms of resolution for conflict situations

Acknowledgements from Session #5: - I acknowledged Chelsea for coming to this session #5 for Life Coaching. - I also acknowledged her for taking her spirituality more seriously in her Confirmation classes. Takeaways from Session #5: - Chelsea said that it was helpful to prioritize her EIQ limitations and to have a plan to improve on some of them. Action Plan from Session #5: - Chelsea agreed to work on limitations #1 and 2, namely:

To try to improve her self-control
To try to choose more ideal forms of resolution for conflict situations

- She also agreed to continue reading the book "Bradshaw on the Family." - The next session was scheduled for Tuesday March 26, 2013 at 3:30 PM.

Life Coaching Session #6: Tuesday March 26, 2013

- I asked Chelsea if she tried working on her EIQ limitations #1 and 2, and she said not really. - She shared with me that she tends to cry easily when she gets emotional and even angry, especially when someone such as a teacher or one of her parents, embarrasses her about something that they think she is doing wrong. - I then asked her if any situations of conflict arose at home or at school, and she said that there was one with her mother Bernadette. I asked her how she reacted and she said that her mother brought up a topic that she knew would upset Chelsea, and then Chelsea raised her voice in anger at her Mom. I asked her how she might have handled the situation differently i.e. how she might have "responded" instead of "reacting", which is the key to having more self-control. Here were some strategies that we discussed and which Chelsea is willing to try in the coming week:

When someone says something to get her upset, I suggested that she take a deep breath and say a quick prayer to the Holy Spirit to give her the right words, such as "What you just said really upset me, and I would like to discuss it with you later when I cool down."
Try to have a deeper prayer life and more internal peace like Jesus, who often had to deal with situations with the Pharisees and even with His disciples.

- I assured Chelsea that she has had a lot to deal with in her life, given the separation of her mother and father when she was quite young, and some of the major conflicts she currently has with her two half-sisters living at home. Chelsea shared that even though her father does not live at home, she still sees him every day when he picks her up for school. She also shared that her mother and father are seeing more of each other lately and they are getting along better now than in the past. This sometimes confuses Chelsea because they tend to pool their restrictions and corrections on her! - We discussed Chelsea's limitation #3 (needing to have a more positive mindset) and she said that she was willing to work on this as well in the coming weeks. - I asked Chelsea about how much physical exercise she gets, and she said none at the current moment because of her busy schedule. She used to jog around the Savannah a few times a week, but she hasn't done so in a few months. I shared with Chelsea that being in better physical shape by exercising regularly would really help her to feel better, have more energy, and have a more positive mindset. She agreed with this and said that she would like to take up cycling in her area as it is safer and she does not need someone to dry her to the Savannah. Acknowledgements from Session #6: - I acknowledged Chelsea for coming to this sixth session and for being open with her emotions, especially in regard to her family. - I acknowledged her for wanting to get back into regular physical exercise such as biking. Takeaways from Session #6: - Chelsea said that it was helpful to discuss strategies for assisting her with responding instead of reacting when situations of conflict arise in her life. Action Plan from Session #6: - Chelsea agreed to try some of the techniques we discussed in this session for "responding vs. reacting" when situations of conflict arise in her life in the coming weeks, namely:

When someone says something to get her upset, I suggested that she take a deep breath and say a quick prayer to the Holy Spirit to give her the right words, such as "What you just said really upset me, and I would like to discuss it with you later when I cool down."
Try to have a deeper prayer life and more internal peace like Jesus, who often had to deal with difficult and trying situations with the Pharisees and even with His disciples.

- She agreed to get more regular physical exercise such as biking in the area where she lives. - She also agreed to work on limitation #3, namely:

To try to have a more positive mindset.

- She also agreed to continue reading the book "Bradshaw on the Family." - The next session was scheduled for Tuesday April 2, 2013 at 3:30 PM.

Life Coaching Session #7: Tuesday April 2, 2013

- Chelsea shared that she did a fair amount of cycling on the weekend, which I commended her for. She said that it made her feel a little more positive and healthier. - She shared that her mother frequently calls her father when issues with Chelsea arise at home, which Chelsea does not like. She would prefer her mother to deal with the situation herself. - I asked Chelsea if she had any opportunities to work on her "responding vs. reacting" strategy for self-control, and she said that she did have a situation where she lost her patience with her mother. She had just come home from a play that she invited her father to, and which he did not seem to acknowledge that he liked. This bothered Chelsea, and when she came home from the play, she told her mother to make sure that she put her laptop in her room before the night was up. But it eventually lead to an argument because her mother thought that Chelsea was upset about her using the laptop, and her mother did not know that Chelsea was upset at her father not liking the play. I asked Chelsea how she might have been able to avoid this argument with her mother, and she rightfully pointed out that as soon as she got home from the play, she should have shared with her mother the fact that she was upset with her father. - Chelsea said that she is enjoying Bradshaw's book on the family, and she particularly liked the part where he talked about overly authoritarian parents, and how this can negatively affect children. Chelsea believes in a healthy dialog between parents and their children, and that parents can sometimes be wrong on certain matters. - I asked Chelsea is she believes that she has had a chance to be a child through the various stages of her life so far, given that she has had a lot to deal with in her life, especially the separation of her mother and father when she was quite young, and some of the major conflicts she currently has with her two half-sisters living at home. Chelsea shared that she believes that she has had a fairly good childhood and has done many of the things that children her age normally do. However, she does believe that it was unfair for her to have to play "mediator" between her mother and father after their separation, and that this has caused her to have to grow up faster than girls her age. - Chelsea also shared that she sometimes does not feel like doing certain age-specific things such as going out with her friends to the mall or to a movie. She often prefers to stay at home or ride her bike by herself. I asked her if she thought that was normal, and she said that her friends can sometimes be silly and childish. But she did acknowledge that she believes that her friends would not understand some of her feelings because they have not experienced some of the hardships in their families that she has, and so she prefers to keep certain things to herself. - We then viewed a small segment of a video by John Bradshaw on "Bradshaw on Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families", where this 28-year old man writes about how his alcoholic father does not really him and almost wishes he had a different type of son. Acknowledgements from Session #7: - I acknowledged Chelsea for coming to this seventh session and for being open with her emotions, especially in regard to her family. - I acknowledged her for getting back into regular physical exercise such as biking. Takeaways from Session #7: - Chelsea said that it was helpful to discuss how dysfunctional family situations such as hers can cause children to have to grow up faster than usual, and how it may eventually lead to "adult children" later in life. Action Plan from Session #7: - Chelsea agreed to continue trying some of the techniques we discussed in the previous session for "responding vs. reacting" when situations of conflict arise in her life in the coming weeks. - She also agreed to continue exercising and trying to stay more positive. - She also agreed to continue reading the book "Bradshaw on the Family." - The next session was scheduled for Tuesday April 9, 2013 at 3:30 PM.

Life Coaching Session #8: Tuesday April 23, 2013

- Chelsea shared that she tried to do some more cycling but it's a little difficult because her Dad has to pick her up and take her to where he lives in Diego Martin. He did not seem to enthusiastic about doing this. - Chelsea said that she still very much interested in the field of Psychology and that she is studying hard in Biology and doing well in it. I commended her for this! - Chelsea spoke at length about her Dad, and her relationship with him. She said that he was a middle child, and as such, experienced most of the common things that middle children usually face. This made him somewhat resentful and as a result, Chelsea says that she find him irritating and short-tempered. She does not like spending much time with her Dad, and even at times feels unwanted by him! I consoled Chelsea and assured her that her Dad loves her a lot, but is probably going through his own problems, which causes him to be irritable. - Chelsea shared that her Dad knows how to show love, and she specifically remembers him taking her for bike rides in the Savanagh with her sisters. But as she grew into a teenager, he seem to change. In particular, Chelsea shared that she really does not like his relationship with a lady named Marina who seems to be hanging around her Dad for his money. - Chelsea then shared that she also has problems with her two sisters, and coupled with the problems with her father, she feels like she has more problems for most teenagers her age. She asked why God doesn't just answer her prayer and solve all of her problems instantly! I shared with her the life is always full of problems and ups and downs, but that God is always present with us and cares about our problems. He is not the cause of our problems because He gifted man with free will, and unfortunately we sometimes use our free will for not such good things. - I reminded Chelsea to offer up her sufferings to Jesus no matter how small or big they are, using the Fatima prayer: "Jesus, it is for love of Thee, for the conversion of sinners, and in reparation for sins committed against the Immaculate heart of Mary that I offer You my sufferings." I shared with Chelsea that when I say this prayer during my times of suffering, Jesus usually brings me joy and even some type of relief from my suffering because He cannot be outdone in charity! - I also reminded her about what Jesus revealed to me back in 2006 when I was having major problems with three of my clients in my computer business in Toronto. He lead me to the passage in the Bible Matthew 11:28-30 that reads “Come to Me all you who are weary and who are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” I agreed to E-mail her the article that I wrote in the blog on my website describing what Jesus had taught me from my experiences back in 2006. Here is a link to that article: How to Stop Worrying and Start Making a Lasting Impact with Your Life Acknowledgements from Session #8: - I acknowledged Chelsea for coming to this eight session and for being open with her emotions, especially in regard to her family. Takeaways from Session #8: - Chelsea said that it was helpful to discuss her relationship with her father, and with her sisters. Action Plan from Session #8: - Chelsea agreed to continue exercising and trying to stay more positive. - She also agreed to continue reading the book "Bradshaw on the Family." - She also agreed to review the article that I wrote on my blog about how to stop worrying: http://yourlifepurpose.com/2012/10/16/how-to-stop-worrying/ - The next session was scheduled for Tuesday May 7, 2013 at 3:30 PM.

Life Coaching Session #9: Tuesday May 7, 2013

- Chelsea shared that today was Parents Day at St. Joseph's Convent and she was really happy with all of the positive comments that her teachers shared with her mother. Only the Math teacher said that Chelsea needs to try harder which Chelsea partially agreed with. Chelsea mentioned that her father was not present at the Parents Day and has not come to any such events for a few years now. - I asked Chelsea which subjects she is considering taking if and when she goes into Form 6 at St. Joseph's Convent. She said that she is considering taking French, Spanish, and Sociology. She cannot take Biology because she is not taking Chemistry for CXC. She is still leaning very much though toward a career in Psychology, and the course in Sociology will assist her in her future degree in Psychology. - I asked Chelsea how things are in her personal life at home and she said that for the most part, they are fine. She did share however that things with her father's female friend Marina are getting more out-of-hand and that Marina is being even more invasive in her father's life. It really upsets Chelsea to see how gullible her father is with Marina. - Chelsea shared that she gets these intermittent body pains that are severe but they only last a few seconds. They tend to occur when she is sitting or relaxing. They happen almost every day either at school or at home, or both. She believes the pains have a spiritual origin and that Marina has something to do with it. - I asked Chelsea to rate the three stress-causing areas of her life in terms of the percentage that each area causes her. She listed them as follows:

Marina, Patrick, and the Jegessars in general: 50% of her stress
School: 25% of her stress
Her family situation: 25% of her stress

- The above list of stressors is quite telling in that 50% of Chelsea's stress is coming from the Jagessar family, which I shared with Chelsea is very disturbing and unfair to her. Chelsea's mother is also very bothered by the Jagessars and what they have done to her family and other families. I asked Chelsea is she would be willing to pray for the Jagessars that God will open their eyes as to how they are negatively affecting families, and she said that she would try to pray for them. - Chelsea shared that she "doesn't take on people anymore", which means that she has become quite disappointed and despondent with people around her in general. I shared with her that she has to be careful that this does not lead her to develop a complete lack of faith in mankind, because it is easy to fall into that trap. If she keeps does not express her emotions about these stressful situations, it can lead her to have repressed feelings which can contribute to a low-grade depression condition called Dysthymia. These unexpressed and repressed emotions can then resurface with a vengeance later in life. I suggested journaling or blogging her feelings on a daily basis, and to also develop a very personal and intimate relationship with Jesus who is always by the side of each and everyone of us. She can then share her true feelings and emotions in her blog and with Jesus instead of repressing them. - Chelsea also shared that she has noticed a lot of people around her having short tempers when things don't go their way. She finds that when her prayer life is good, she is better able to stay calm when others get flustered. I commended Chelsea for this and shared with her a great website that can be used from a computer or any mobile phone, and which helps a person to easily pray the Divine Office of the Catholic Church. The prayers and hymns for the five times of the day are easily laid out on this website or app and it makes it very simple to connect with the Lord in prayer in conjunction with millions of Catholics around the world who also pray the Divine Office. The website is: http://www.ibreviary.com/m/breviario.php Acknowledgements from Session #9: - I acknowledged Chelsea for coming to this eight session and for being open with her emotions, especially in regard to her family. - I also acknowledged her for having plans to go into Form 6 at St. Joseph's Convent and to take French, Spanish and Sociology, which will lead her to her desired career in the field of Psychology. - I also acknowledged Chelsea for trying to have a good prayer life, and wanting to improve it further. Takeaways from Session #9: - Chelsea said that it felt good to talk about the major stressor in her life right now. Action Plan from Session #9: - Chelsea agreed to explore the idea of journaling or blogging her feelings and emotions on a daily basis. - She also agreed to develop a more personal relationship with Jesus and to share all of her joys and sorrows with Him, because He knows how many hairs she has on her head! - She also agreed to look into the Divine Office (or Breviary) website: http://www.ibreviary.com/m/breviario.php - The next session was scheduled for Tuesday May 14, 2013 at 3:30 PM.

Protected: Career Coaching E5Z+gI8c