Life Coaching for Abigail Alladin

Click on the following link for your: Multidimensional Emotional Intelligence Quotient - Revised (MEIQ-R7)

Life Coaching Session #1: Wednesday 22 February 2017

- Abigail's E-mail address is abigail.alladin@ansamcal.com - Abigail is currently the PMOD Lead – Manufacturing Sector at Ansa Mcal. - We discussed Abigail's Emotional IQ assessment. Abigail's score on this assessment (111/155, 79st percentile) is reasonably good, but there is some room for improvement. Overall, she is fairly skilled at understanding and dealing with emotions. Review the rest of her results to know which areas she most needs to work on developing - awareness is key to helping her find the motivation to improve. - The following is a summarized version of Abigail's results, categorized as Strengths, Potential Strengths, and Limitation. Strengths She typically acts in accordance with her values She has a positive mindset She is doing well in the area of Emotional Understanding She is empathetic She is socially insightful She performed well on the emotional integration aspect of the test She possesses healthy coping skills She is driven toward further self-development She is able to let go/rise above minor issues She is able/willing to adapt her social skills to the circumstances around her She has a healthy level of self-esteem She seems to be quite content Potential Strengths She has a satisfactory emotional IQ level She is doing reasonably well in the area of Emotional Identification, Perception, and Expression She possesses some emotional self-awareness She is somewhat aware of her strengths and weaknesses She was sometimes able to recognize the emotions depicted on the test She is doing reasonably well in the area of Emotional Facilitation of Thought She does not ruminate excessively, which is good, but she also may not give things sufficient thought Her approach to problem solving is sometimes conducive to resolution She chose some reasonably good forms of resolution for conflict situations on the test She is doing reasonably well in the area of Emotional Management Her impulse control is satisfactory She shows some self-control She is reasonably resilient/hardy She shows some social responsibility for the wellbeing of others Limitations She is not very comfortable with emotions in general She is not very self-motivated The manner in which she would resolve conflict situations on the test were not always the most beneficial She is not very assertive She seems to struggle to act independently She is not in the habit of setting goals Her flexibility is limited Acknowledgements from Session #1: - I acknowledged Abigail for completing the MEIQ assessment. Takeaways from Session #1: - Abigail feels that she now has better self-awareness of her EIQ strengths and limitations. Action Plan from Session #1: - You agreed to review the MEIQ-R7 report in more detail - You agreed to work on your three EIQ limitations using the tips under each limitation below: #1 You are not very comfortable with emotions in general

Take small steps if you're not used to expressing emotions. Start with those that are the least intimidating and you will surely find that it's not as bad as you think. On the positive side, begin with genuine compliments and then take it further to an expression of appreciation. When you need to communicate a negative feeling, try writing it if you feel too intimidated to say it. Like learning any new skill, it will get easier with practice.
Consider the implications of not releasing your feelings. A lack of intimacy with others, pent up feelings, health problems, etc.
Remember that communication involves a lot more than what is just said. Our gestures, expressions and tone of voice send just as strong (or even stronger signals) than the words we choose, and can let us know how others are feeling (and lets other know how we are feeling).

#2 The manner in which you would resolve conflict situations is not the most ideal

Step back. If you're prone to losing control of your emotions, try taking a step back from heated situations. Give yourself some time to gain control rather than reacting immediately.
Practice. Practice keeping your feelings under control (without suppressing them) and it will become more natural. Learn the appropriate times to express them so that they don't boil over in inappropriate situations.
When you need to confront a person about a difficult issue, try writing out your thoughts and the other person's responses prior to meeting with them. It will make your interaction with them more controlled. Like learning any new skill, it will get easier with practice.
The source of emotions. Remember: emotion is just a whirlwind of activity passing through your body and mind. You help create it and feed it; how you react is important to its outcome. See a professional in cognitive therapy if you wish to learn concrete strategies to overcome negative thought patterns and to question any heavily ingrained beliefs.
Take a time out. "When angry count to ten; when very angry count to 100." It's not always easy to maintain your composure when you feel like your "buttons" are being pushed, but it is essential that you make an effort to do so. It's important to cool down emotionally when a situation makes you upset or stressed. As time passes, you will be able to be more objective about the issues and to sort out the situation more clearly. Count for as long as it takes for you to reach a state of mind conducive to the cool, rational consideration of possible consequences of your actions. This counting technique can be used no matter what the intense feeling is.
Don't try to avoid confrontation at all costs. This results in a buildup of unresolved anger and frustration for both people. avoid sulking and denial do not accomplish anything either. Besides, bottled up frustration finds its way out, one way or another.

#3 You are not very assertive

Start small. Try to be assertive in mildly tense situations, such as requesting to be seated at a different spot at a restaurant.
Learn to say no. People worry that saying no is selfish. It’s not. Rather, setting healthy limits is important to having healthy relationships.
Let go of guilt. Being assertive can be tough — especially if you’ve been passive or a people-pleaser most of your life. The first few times it can feel unnerving. But remember that being assertive is vital to your well-being. “Assertive behaviour that involves advocating for oneself in a way that is respectful of others is not wrong — it is healthy self-care,” Marter said.
Express your needs and feelings. Don’t assume that someone will automatically know what you need. You have to tell them. Again, be specific, clear, honest and respectful.

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