Career and Life Coaching for Derick Pulchan

Click on the following link for the: O*Net Online Career Research Tool Click on the following link for your: Vocational Style & Career Assessment for Students (VoSCA-St) Click on the following link for your: Multidimensional Emotional Intelligence Quotient - Abridged (MEIQ-Ab) Click on the following link for the eBook: Emotional Wound First-Aid Kit by John Schurmann Career and Life Coaching Session #1:Wednesday 5 November 2014 - Derick's E-mail address is dpulchan98@hotmail.com - Derick is 16 years old, and he has one sister and three brothers. - Derick currently attends secondary school at Trinity East Secondary School. - He’s been at Marian House for about 5 months. Before that, he was at YTC and St. Michael's Home. - He is currently in Form 4 and taking the following subjects: PE, Maths, English, POB, Social Studies, Economics, Visual Arts, Graphics Arts. He should have been in Form 5 by now but because he lost some time in the past, he had to repeat Form 3. - We went through the study schedule together, and I showed Derick how to complete a schedule for each month of the year. This will help him to monitor his study habits and be more productive. - In terms of his career aspirations, Derick has considered the following: 1. Child Psychologist 2. Counseling Psychologist 3. Musician - Piano (both theory and practice) 4. Music Teacher - Derick was born in Arouca in 1998, and his mother had 11 children by different men. Six of his other siblings died from various illnesses, and so he currently only has one sister and three brothers. His brothers are all addicts, and his sister is wealthy and doesn't keep in touch with Derick and his brothers. - Derick has never met his father. Also, when Derick was born in Mount Hope, he was thought to have HIV because his mother had HIV. He was then placed in Cyril Ross Home in Tunapuna, but three months the blood test showed that he did not have HIV. He ended up staying at that home for five years, and was then adopted by Megan Downes in Arima, where he stayed until he was 14 years old. - Derick's mother passed away from AIDS recently in June 2014, and Derick was relieved that she was at least able to make to her birthday which was February 29. - Derick said that he had everything at his adopted home in Arima, but he didn't appreciate the life he had, and gave his adopted mother a lot of trouble. Derick said that his adopted mother had a daughter of her own after he was with her for about three years. Derick loved his baby sister a lot. - But one day, Derick left his home in Arima in anger, and he didn't even say goodbye to his young sister, which really hurt him a lot. This incident keeps replaying in Derick's mind over and over, and and is one of the events that he needs emotional healing from. - When Derick left his adopted home at 14, he went to St. Michael's Home for a few months, and he also spent two periods at YTC between September 2012 to December 2012, and again from June 2013 to August 2013 for theft and drugs. - Then Derick went back home to his mother's house in Arouca. One day, he went to visit his older brother in Mt. Pleasant (Arima), and he was introduced to smoking marijuana. He got hooked on it, and then back home he started working to buy food, cigarettes, and marijuana. - Derick became addicted to marijuana, and then finally went to the Living Waters rehab program at Mount St. Benedict around July 2014, and came out clean around late October 2014. Derick and I spoke at length of the major cause of addictions, and I shared with him that addictions are usually caused by a person feeling very low about himself. This is often caused by hurtful events that have happened in childhood that has left the person feeling very shamed with a low self-image. It is like the person has a hole or holes in his soul! Then the addiction presents itself as a "mood altering experience" that promises to lift the person's inner feelings. But unfortunately, this only lasts for a short time. Then the addict is back to feeling low about himself the next day, and the whole vicious cycle begins all over again. It is like pouring water down a drain - no amount of water can keep the sink full (i.e. can keep the person happy) unless the drain is plugged permanently. So the addict is essentially in need to emotional healing from the deep wounds of the past. - At a later session, I will recommend that Derick reads a book written by a well-known Psychologist and Life Coach in Toronto, Canada named John Schurmann. The eBook is entitled "Emotional Wound First-Aid Kit", and a PDF copy of this eBook can be found at the top of this blog. The four main stages needed for healing each emotional wound one at a time, which are similar to the stages needed to heal a physical wound:

Cleansing the wound: Journaling or writing down all of the hurtful things and anger associated with each incident.
Destroying the contaminants: Burning or shredding the paper with the hurts.
Placing ointment on the wound: Making a decision to forgive the person who hurt you. Forgiveness is a decision not a feeling. Ask God to give you the strength and grace to forgive the person once you have made your decision to forgive.
Resting the wound: Do not think about the person or incident for at least two months, until a "scar" is formed inside, and the incident is not longer hurtful. Only a memory should be left of the incident.

Acknowledgements from Session #1: - I acknowledged Derick for participating in these Career and Life Coaching sessions to get a better understanding of what career path he would like to pursue. Takeaways from Session #1: - Derick liked the process of meeting one-on-one and is looking forward to the other sessions. Action Plan from Session #1: - Derick agreed to read through the VoSCA-St assessment in detail. - He also agreed to rate the recommended careers from 1 to 10 in terms of his passion level. 1 is the lowest and 10 is the highest. - He also agreed to list the major hurts in his life that he keeps playing back over and over in his mind. - Derick agreed to complete the MEIQ assessment. - The next session was scheduled for Wednesday 10 December 2014 at 11:00 AM.

Career and Life Coaching Session #2: Wednesday 10 December 2014

- Derick said that he has had fights and strong disagreements with Justin in the past few weeks. - I asked him what were the causes for these confrontations with Justin, and he said that Justin invaded his privacy one day when he was online with his girlfriend. From that point, their relationship started heading downhill. Derick tried to smooth things over with Justin, and even though Justin said that he was cool with everything now, Derick still finds him to be aloof and condescending toward him. - Derick also shared with me that he got quite upset with Justin a week ago at the dinner table, and instead of getting violent toward him, he left and went outside to cool off. He then phoned one of his past counselors to ask for advice. This person told Derick to think of the long-term consequences of his actions if he acted violently toward Justin, and Derick took this advice and did not confront Justin when he came back inside. I really commended Derick for taking this mature approach, and I shared with him that the only way Jesus was able to stat calm during his earthly life was by being a man of prayer. In other words, we all have to develop the habit of praying constantly as St. Paul advises us in the Bible. I shared with Derick that I would buy him a Rosary and have it blessed by a Priest. He said that he would try to pray it daily because there was a time when he attended Holy Cross Boys RC in Arima that he prayed the Rosary every day for three years in religion class. Acknowledgements from Session #2: - I acknowledged Derick for sharing his current situation at Marian House with me, and for his maturity in seeking advice when he was thinking about getting into another fight with Justin. - I also commended him for wanting to start back praying the rosary daily to help him to deal with the daily stresses of life. - I acknowledged Derick for completing the VoSCA-St and MEIQ-Ab assessments. - I also acknowledged him for continuing to participate in these Career and Life Coaching Sessions to get a better understanding of what career path he would like to pursue. Takeaways from Session #2: - Derick feels better that he shared his issue with me, and that he has a plan to pray more to get more patience in dealing with the daily stresses of life. Action Plan from Session #2: - Derick agreed to review the VoSCA-St report in more detail. - He also agreed to pray more (specifically the Rosary) in order to get more patience in dealing with the daily stresses of life. - The next session was scheduled for Wednesday 7 January 2015 at 5:00 PM.

Career and Life Coaching Session #3:

- I discussed the results of the VoSCA-St assessment with Derick, specifically his scores in the various categories of Interests, Intelligence Types, Values, and Work Styles. His scores can be reviewed in the report itself. - Here are the careers that the VoSCA-St assessment recommended for Derick and how he rated them in terms of his passion level (1 is no passion and 10 is the highest passion): #1 Communications Teachers, Post-secondary #2 Speech-Language Pathologists #3 Foreign Language and Literature Teachers, Post-secondary #4 Survey Researchers #5 English Language and Literature Teachers, Post-secondary #6 Computer Science Teachers, Post-secondary #7 Rehabilitation Counselors #8 Marriage and Family Therapists #9 Adult Basic and Secondary Education and Literacy Teachers and #10 Home Economics Teachers, Post-secondary #11 Library Science Teachers, Post-secondary #12 Art, Drama, and Music Teachers, Post-secondary #13 Health Educators #14 Arbitrators, Mediators, and Conciliators #15 Clinical Psychologists #16 Special Education Teachers, Middle School #17 Musicians, Instrumental #18 Instructional Coordinators #19 Curators #20 Speech-Language Pathology Assistants #21 Clergy #22 Social and Human Service Assistants #23 Recreation and Fitness Studies Teachers, Post-secondary #24 Librarians #25 Low Vision Therapists, Orientation and Mobility Specialists, and #26 Broadcast News Analysts #27 Education Teachers, Post-secondary #28 Web Administrators #29 Archivists #30 Social Science Research Assistants Acknowledgements from Session #3: - I acknowledged Derick for completing the VoSCA-St assessment. - I also acknowledged him for continuing to participate in these Career and Life Coaching Sessions to get a better understanding of what career path he would like to pursue. Takeaways from Session #3: - Action Plan from Session #3: - Derick agreed to review the VoSCA report in more detail and research on the Internet using the O*Net Online Career Research Tool (www.onetonline.org) the recommended careers above which he scored 6 or more out of 10, and document his research in this password-protected blog under the section at the end called “Leave a Reply”. The careers on his shortlist in order of his passion level are: #1 Career 1 (a/10) #2 Career 2 (b/10) #3 Career 3 (c/10) #4 Career 4 (d/10) #5 Career 5 (e/10) - He also agreed to see if any of the careers in the Related section under each of his recommended careers in the report catch his interest, and to put those in the blog as well. In particular, he should at least copy and paste the following sections from the O*Net site into the blog: Tasks, Knowledge, Related Careers, and Wages & Employment Trends. - The next session schedule was scheduled for Wednesday 14 January 2015 at 5:00 PM.

Career and Life Coaching Session #4: Wednesday 14 January 2015

- Derick said that a few things are bothering him lately, and he wants to work on them. They are:

He is seeking revenge a lot with other boys at Marian House, both internally in his thoughts and verbally.
He is feeling sad these days because his girlfriend said that she wanted to cool off their relationship in order to concentrate on her studies. This "tabanca" is the hardest that Derick has ever experienced.

- Derick said that he is getting frustrated with some of the boys and staff at Marian House, and also with some of his friends at school. - I shared with Derick that he seems to have a lot of displaced anger, and he agreed. - Next, I asked him if he thinks of himself as basically a good person, and Derick said no. He said that since he was about 5 years old, he started stealing and doing other wrong things. He also shared that his uncle used to give him a lot of severe beatings, which did not make Derick feel good about himself as a human being. - I asked Derick if he loves himself as a person, and he said basically no. - Next, I asked him if he truly believes in the depth of his heart if God loves him, and I asked him not to answer the question during our session, but to think about it for the next few weeks until our next session. I told Derick that I wanted him to come up with the honest answer to this very important question because from that point we can make progress on the path of him believing in his heart that God really loves him, and everyone else in the world. - Derick share with me that he did take the Life in the Spirit seminars (seven weeks in total) when he was at the rehab program offered by Living Waters. But he said that he was not open to receiving a reawakening of the Holy Spirit when the laying on of hands occurred n the last session. Acknowledgements from Session #4: - I acknowledged Derick for his honesty about what was bothering him lately, and for his desire to try to improve in these areas. Takeaways from Session #4: - Derick feels better that he shared his feelings. Action Plan from Session #4: - I asked Derick to ponder the following question over the next few weeks until our next session: "Do you truly believes in the depth of your heart that God loves you." - I also asked him to review his Emotional IQ assessment, and to choose four to five limitations that he would like to work on over the next year. - The next session was scheduled for Wednesday 5 February 2015 at 5:00 PM.

Career and Life Coaching Session #5: Tuesday 30 June 2015

- Derick shared with me that he has been interested in music since he was 9 years old. - He plans on enrolling in a course music production at 5Z1 Music Productions Studio, which is quite well known in Trinidad. It starts on 13 July and ends on 30 August. - Derick would then like to get a higher certificate in music. - He shared that he would also like to compose and sing his own songs. - Another interest that Derick shared with me is the field of air condition servicing. - Derick said that he would like to complete English and Math for CXC. Acknowledgements from Session 5: - I acknowledged Derick for being enthusiastic about pursuing a degree in music, and for wanting to obtain his CXC Math and English subjects. Takeaways from Session #5: - Derick feels much better that he has direction in his life now. Action Plan from Session #5: - Derick agreed to enroll in a course music production at 5Z1 Music Productions Studio, which starts on 13 July and ends on 30 August. - Derick plans on obtaining his English and Math for CXC by January 2016. - The next session is scheduled for Tuesday 14 July 2015 at 5:00 PM.

Career and Life Coaching Session #6:

- - - Acknowledgements from Session #6: - Takeaways from Session #6: - - - Action Plan from Session #6: - - -

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