. Career Coaching for Shane Matthews

Click on the following link for the: O*Net Online Career Research Tool Click on the following link for your: Vocational Style & Career Assessment for Students (VoSCA-St) Click on the following link for your: Multidimensional Emotional Intelligence Quotient - Abridged (MEIQ-Ab) Click on the following link for the eBook: Emotional Wound First-Aid Kit by John Schurmann Click on the following link for the: List of Questions for Interview Process

Career Coaching Session #1: Wednesday November 6, 2013

- Shane's E-mail address is nextleveltt@gmail.com - Shane is 18 years old and he started residing at Marian House recently from Monday 21 July 2014. - Prior to this, Shane lived with his sister's godmother in Arouca. - He likes the outdoors and feels confined now at Marian House because for his three-week probation period, he has to stay indoors. This is making him feel very bored at the moment. - His mother died of HIV in 2003, and his father died two years later in 2005 of the same thing. This was very hard on Shane but he said that he got over it for the most part two years later. - Shane said that he has a tendency to worry about a lot of stuff - He completed secondary school and received the following CXC passes:

English (3)
POB (3)
Social Studies (2)
Integrated Science (2)

- Shane took the following subjects in his second year in Form 5, and is awaiting CXC results:

English
Maths
Human and Social Biology

- In summary, Shane's CXC results were: English (3), HSB (2), Maths (4). From before Social Studies (2), Integrated Science (2), POB (3) [Maths (5), English (3)]. So Shane has a total of five CXC passes. - I mentioned to Shane the fact that he will be receiving approximately four sessions of Career Coaching. - I described the Coaching method in general to Shane, and showed him the following diagram of the four components that make up human beings in general:

- I asked Shane to rate himself today (July 2014) in the above four areas, and this was his self-assessment:

Mental: 70/100
Emotional: 50/100
Physical: 60/100
Spiritual: 0/100

- I then asked Shane where he would like to see his ratings a year from today (June 2015) in the above four areas, and these were his goals:

Mental: 85/100
Emotional: 90/100
Physical: 85/100
Spiritual: 30/100

- Shane said that he has good aptitude in:

Electronic music
Computers, both software and especially fixing them.

- As a matter of fact, Shane was the only person so far who was able to recognize immediately that the diagram that I use for my coaching model came from Microsoft Word! Acknowledgements from Session #1: - I acknowledged Shane for completing the VoSCA-St assessment. - I also acknowledged him for participating in these Career Coaching sessions to get a better understanding of what career path he would like to pursue. Takeaways from Session #1: - Shane liked the process of doing the assessment he feels a little clearer about the process of career discovery. Action Plan from Session #1: - Shane agreed to review the VoSCA-St report in more detail. - The next session was scheduled for Wednesday 30 July 2014 at 3:00 PM.

Career Coaching Session #2: Wednesday 30 July 2014

- I discussed the results of the VoSCA-St assessment with Shane, specifically his scores in the various categories of Interests, Intelligence Types, Values, and Work Styles. His scores can be reviewed in the report itself. - Here are the careers that the VoSCA-St assessment recommended for Shane and how he rated them in terms of his passion level (1 is no passion and 10 is the highest passion): #1 Chemical Technicians (3/10) #2 Occupational Therapy Aides (0/10) #3 Makeup Artists, Theatrical and Performance (1/10) #4 Prepress Technicians and Workers (2/10) #5 Bartenders (8/10) #6 Shampooers (0/10) #7 Floral Designers (1/10) #8 Computer, Automated Teller, and Office Machine Repairers (9/10) #9 Maids and Housekeeping Cleaners (0/10) #10 Broadcast Technicians (7/10) #11 Hairdressers, Hairstylists, and Cosmetologists (0/10) #12 Parking Enforcement Workers (5/10) #13 Quality Control Analysts (0/10) #14 Pharmacy Technicians (0/10) #15 Dining Room and Cafeteria Attendants and Bartender Helpers (3/10) #16 Ushers, Lobby Attendants, and Ticket Takers (6/10) #17 Precision Agriculture Technicians (0/10) #18 Manicurists and Pedicurists (0/10) #19 Counter Attendants, Cafeteria, Food Concession, and Coffee Shop (0/10) #20 Barbers (0/10) #21 Agricultural Inspectors (1/10) #22 Costume Attendants (0/10) #23 Range Managers (0/10) #24 License Clerks (1/10) #25 Office Machine Operators, Except Computer (0/10) #26 Baggage Porters and Bellhops (0/10) #27 Food Servers, Non-restaurant (0/10) #28 Spa Managers (0/10) #29 Park Naturalists (0/10) #30 Physical Therapist Aides (0/10) #31 Photographers (8/10) #32 Camera Operators, Television, Video, and Motion Picture (8/10) #33 Multimedia Artists and Animators (7/10) #34 Office Clerks, General (6/10) #35 Film and Video Editors (9/10) #36 Electronic Home Entertainment Equipment Installers and Repairers (10/10) Acknowledgements from Session #2: - I acknowledged Shane for taking the time to read over the VoSCA-St report. Takeaways from Session #2: - Shane is feeling a little better that his list of possible careers is being narrowed down. Action Plan from Session #2: - Research on the Internet using the O*Net Online Career Research Tool (www.onetonline.org) the recommended careers above which he scored 6 or more out of 10, and document his research in this password-protected blog under the section at the end called “Leave a Reply”. The careers on his shortlist in order of his passion level are: #1 Electronic Home Entertainment Equipment Installers and Repairers (10/10) #2 Computer, Automated Teller, and Office Machine Repairers (9/10) #3 Film and Video Editors (9/10) #4 Photographers (8/10) #5 Camera Operators, Television, Video, and Motion Picture (8/10) #6 Bartenders (8/10) #7 Multimedia Artists and Animators (7/10) #8 Broadcast Technicians (7/10) #9 Ushers, Lobby Attendants, and Ticket Takers (6/10) #10 Office Clerks, General (6/10) - He also agreed to see if any of the careers in the Related section under each of his recommended careers in the report catch his interest, and to put those in the blog as well. In particular, he should at least copy and paste the following sections from the O*Net site into the blog: Tasks, Knowledge, Related Careers, and Wages & Employment Trends. - The next session was scheduled for Tuesday 5 August 5 2014 at 4:00 PM.

Life Coaching Session #3: Wednesday 6 August 2014

- Shane went to St. Joseph Secondary School. - His best friend is Crystal. - Cher-Marie is a girl that Shane met on Facebook and he likes her Shane lived with his sister’s godmother Wanita Clarke from 7 years old to 18 years. He was not very happy there. - He tried to take his life on several occasions because he has very low self-esteem. - Shane said that even though he has friends who are girls, he does not have any girlfriends. Triggers for dips in Shane’s mood are:

Seeing picture or live scene of happy family
When people disappoint Shane by not showing up (like Akima)

Triggers for Shane’s anger are:

Seeing picture of girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend on Facebook
When people disappoint Shane by not showing up
When people disturb Shane is listening to music

- Shane's overall results on the MEIQ-Ab assessment were as follows: EQ score = 83/155 Percentile score = 13 Shane's score on this assessment is not very strong. This is a concern because this test was designed to flag those individuals who might have limitations in understanding their own emotions and those of others. This area can certainly be improved with effort; however, for some people, it is difficult to improve without help. On a positive note, awareness is key to helping Shane find the motivation to improve in this area, and knowing which areas he most needs to work on developing. - The following is a summarized version of Shane's results, categorized as Strengths, Potential Strengths, and Limitation: Strengths

He was able to recognize the emotions depicted on the test
He is driven toward further self-development
He is able/willing to adapt his social skills to the circumstances around him

Potential Strengths

He is somewhat aware of his strengths and weaknesses
He performed relatively well on the emotional integration aspect of the test
He chose some reasonably good forms of resolution for others' conflict situations on the test
He is somewhat socially insightful
He is sometimes able to let go/rise above minor issues
The manner in which Shane would resolve conflict situations on the test were reasonably effective/healthy
He is moderately assertive

Limitations

His overall emotional IQ needs improvement
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Identification, Perception, and Expression
His emotional self-awareness is limited
He is not very comfortable with emotions in general
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Facilitation of Thought
He has a tendency to ruminate excessively
His approach to problem solving is not always conducive to resolution
His mindset could stand to be more positive
He doesn't make it a point to act in accordance with his values
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Understanding
His ability to empathize needs improvement
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Management
His impulse control needs improvement
His self-control needs improvement
His resilience/hardiness needs further development
He needs to work on using more healthy coping techniques
He is not very self-motivated
His self-esteem needs to be strengthened
He does not seem to be very content
He seems to struggle to act independently
His flexibility is limited

Acknowledgements from Session #3: - I acknowledged Shane for completing the MEIQ-Ab assessment. - I also acknowledged him for coming to these Career and Life Coaching sessions, and for opening up and being honest about his feelings. Takeaways from Session #3: - Shane was able to feel a little better about articulating what his trigger points are. Action Plan from Session #3: - Shane agreed to review the MEIQ-Ab report in more detail. - He also agreed to choose four or five main emotional IQ limitations from the report that he would like to work on over the next year or so. - The next session was scheduled for Wednesday 13 August 2014.

Life Coaching Session #4: Wednesday 13 August 2014

- Shane said that he was feeling like a 3/10 today. - He is still communicating with friends from Bible Camp in Arouca, which runs until Friday 15 August. - He did some X-rays at General Hospital, but did not get results. - He said that the probation period for him at Marian House was extended indefinitely, which is making him very angry. The reason for the extension is because he did not want to have a certain part of the medical exam, which he will not budge on. - He said that the Marian House Code of Conduct was never reviewed with him. - Shane would like to be able go to the Savannah for an hour by himself. - Shane would also like to know if he can go to visit his friend Crystal by himself (3 hours maximum). - He would also like to know if he can go to visit his godmother on Sundays by himself (7 hours maximum). - Shane has VBS graduation on Friday and he has to give a speech. He will be gone from 8:00 AM - 3:00 PM, he will come home in between to change, and then go back from 5:00 PM to 10:00 PM. However, Marian House does not want to move the appointment with the Psychologist at the Wellness Centre from Friday to Monday or Tuesday of next week. - If the current new mattress is replaced with a softer mattress, he would get even more sleep. - If the above issues are addressed, Shane said that he would feel like 6/10. - I recommended that Shane visit Dr. D. Nwokolo at St. Clair Medical Centre to obtain a diagnosis about his feelings of depression. This was done on 19 August 2014, and here were the results of his first visit:

Dr. D. O. Nwokolo Office: St. Clair Medical Centre 18 Elizabeth Street, St. Clair, Port of Spain

August 25, 2014 To Whom It May Concern,

Medical Report on Shane Matthews.

"Shane Mathews consulted me recently for a long history of regularly depressed mood and anger management problems. Based on his history and mental status evaluation, he has been diagnosed with Dysthymia and major depression. These conditions cause suicidal ideation in majority of affected persons and suicidal attempts in a few. They also negatively impact the motivation and quality of life of affected persons. Shane has been placed on fluoxetine, an antidepressant medication at 20mg daily." - The prescription for the fluoxetine was filled by the staff of Marian House, and Shane started taking it daily. - A follow-up visit for Shane with Dr. D. Nwokolo at St. Clair Medical Centre was schedule for 3 September 2014 in order to evaluate how well the medication was working for Shane. Acknowledgements from Session #4: - I acknowledged Shane for continuing to comes to these Life and Career Coaching sessions to improve his overall well-being. - I also acknowledged him for going to see Dr. Nwokolo and opening up to him about his life issues. Takeaways from Session #4: - Shane felt a little better after his visit to Dr. Nwokolo. Action Plan from Session #4: - Shane agreed to take the medication daily which was prescribed to him by Dr. Nwokolo (fluoxetine 20 mg once daily). - He agreed to a follow-up visits to Dr. Nwokolo on 3 September 2014 and 3 November 2014. - I agreed to ask the Marian House staff if Shane would be able go to the Savannah for an hour by himself when he comes home from work of school. - I also agreed to ask the Marian House staff if Shane can go to visit his friend Crystal by himself once a week (3 hours maximum). - I also agreed to ask the Marian House staff if he can go to visit his godmother on Sundays by himself (7 hours maximum).

Life Coaching Session #5: Thursday 30 October 2014

- Shane said that he wasn't feeling well today, neither physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. He was wondering if the fluoxetine medication was making him feel nauseous and if it has stopped working for him in terms of lifting his mood. I shared with Shane that side-effects from such medications usually wear off after a few weeks, and more importantly, that antidepressant medications are not a magic solution to make a person feel 100% better. In fact, it is only about 20% of the solution in that it provides the person with a kick-start so that he can make the right changes in his life to relieve the symptoms of depression. - I then reminded Shane of the three ingredients necessary for a person to see change in his life, which are:

Having self-awareness
Having the desire to change
Wanting to do the work and persevere in bringing about the change

- I shared with Shane that the Psychometric assessments have provided him with the first ingredient that he needs, namely, self-awareness. However, unless Shane has the desire to change as well as the willingness to do the work and persevere in bringing about positive change in his life, then his depression will not go away. - Shane said that he was making an effort to visit the Psychologist at the Wellness Centre once a month. - He shared with me that he feels that if he had a more "normal" family life growing up as a child and teenager, he would have gotten more passes at CXC, and better marks. He also felt that he would not be so unhappy with his life, and certainly not be suffering from depression. I acknowledged that he has had a hard life, and that he needs to mourn the loss of his childhood. However, after his period of mourning, he should try to move on and do what is necessary to bring about a more positive direction in his life. - I took Shane to see Dr. Nwokolo on Monday 3 November 2014 at 5:00 PM, and Shane shared all of the above information with him. Again, Dr. Nwokolo reiterated to Shane that the antidepressant medication that he was taking is only a part of the solution, and that Shane needs to start being more positive about things in his life. He needs to see the glass as half-full instead of half-empty. Dr. Nwokolo said that happiness is actually a learned behaviour that takes lots of practice! - Dr. Nwokolo said that the 20 mg dosage of fluoxetine that Shane was given a few months ago is a low dosage, and he agreed to double the dosage to 40 mg for the next two months. - A follow-up visit for Shane with Dr. D. Nwokolo at St. Clair Medical Centre was schedule for 5 January 2015 in order to evaluate how well the increased dosage of medication was working for Shane. - I mentioned to Shane an eBook written by a well-known Psychologist and Life Coach in Toronto, Canada named John Schurmann. The eBook is entitled "Emotional Wound First-Aid Kit", and a PDF copy of this eBook can be found at the top of this blog. I asked Shane if he would be willing to read this eBook, and he said yes. - I summarized the four main stages needed for healing each emotional wound one at a time, which are similar to the stages needed to heal a physical wound:

Cleansing the wound: Journaling or writing down all of the hurtful things and anger associated with each incident.
Destroying the contaminants: Burning or shredding the paper with the hurts.
Placing ointment on the wound: Making a decision to forgive the person who hurt you. Forgiveness is a decision not a feeling. Ask God to give you the strength and grace to forgive the person once you have made your decision to forgive.
Resting the wound: Do not think about the person or incident for at least two months, until a "scar" is formed inside, and the incident is not longer hurtful. Only a memory should be left of the incident.

- I also mentioned to Shane that he should read carefully the section found on pages 51 through 53 that dealing with trying to replace ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) with PETS (positive empowering thoughts). Again this will take practice, and progress will be slow in the beginning, but with perseverance, it will become a learned behaviour to replace ANTS with PETS in his mind when they come up. Acknowledgements from Session #5: - I acknowledged Shane for continuing to comes to these Life and Career Coaching sessions, and for seeking counseling, in order to try improve his overall well-being. - I also acknowledged him for his third visit to see Dr. Nwokolo and opening up to him about his ongoing life issues. Takeaways from Session #5: - Shane felt a little better after his visit to Dr. Nwokolo. Action Plan from Session #5: - Shane agreed to his follow-up visit with Dr. Nwokolo on 5 January 2015 at 5:00 PM. - He also agreed to read the eBook by John Schurmann entitled "Emotional Wound First-Aid Kit". - He agreed to try to learn the behaviour of replacing ANTS with PETS in his mind when they come up. - He also agreed to pick four or five of his EIQ limitations to work on improving over the next year or so. His list of EIQ limitations are:

His overall emotional IQ needs improvement
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Identification, Perception, and Expression
His emotional self-awareness is limited
He is not very comfortable with emotions in general
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Facilitation of Thought
He has a tendency to ruminate excessively
His approach to problem solving is not always conducive to resolution
His mindset could stand to be more positive
He doesn't make it a point to act in accordance with his values
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Understanding
His ability to empathize needs improvement
Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Management
His impulse control needs improvement
His self-control needs improvement
His resilience/hardiness needs further development
He needs to work on using more healthy coping techniques
He is not very self-motivated
His self-esteem needs to be strengthened
He does not seem to be very content
He seems to struggle to act independently
His flexibility is limited

- The next session was scheduled for Thursday 13 November 2014 at 5:00 PM.

Life Coaching Session #6: Thursday 11 December 2014

- Shane said that he feels the following side-effected of the medication:

Involuntary twitching about two days per week
He gets up a lot at night
He feels sleepy at work, especially in the mornings

- Shane does not have any friends anymore, and even Crystal does not talk to him anymore. - Akima comes once in while to visit Shane at Marian House. - Shane visits Darcy almost every Saturday. - Shane has bonded fairly well with Derick Pulchan. - I mentioned to Shane that he can get some support from these three "friends" and the rest of the support from God. - Shane picked the following items from his list of EIQ limitations to work on ever the next year:

His self-esteem needs to be strengthened (#1)
He is not very self-motivated (#2)
His emotional self-awareness is limited; and he is not very comfortable with emotions in general (#3)
His mindset could stand to be more positive (#4)
He has a tendency to ruminate excessively (#5)

Acknowledgements from Session #6: - I acknowledged Shane for continuing to comes to these Life and Career Coaching sessions, and for seeking counseling, in order to try improve his overall well-being. - I also acknowledged him for continuing to take his medication. Takeaways from Session #6: - Shane feels a little better that he chose five EIQ limitations to work on over the next year. Action Plan from Session #6: - You agreed to your follow-up visit with Dr. Nwokolo on 5 January 2014 at 5:00 PM. - Shane agreed to work on the first of his five most important EIQ limitations over the next year. They are, in order of importance to Shane:

His self-esteem needs to be strengthened (#1)
1. Get to know yourself better. For example, make a list of your strengths and limitations. The more in touch you are with who you are, the better you will be able to understand and handle your emotions.
2. Try to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself.
3. Aim for accomplishments rather than perfection.
4. View mistakes as learning opportunities.
5. Try new things.
6. Recognize what you can change and what you can't.
7. Set goals.
He is not very self-motivated (#2)
1. Refuse to be a victim. Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman, renowned author and noted expert on positive psychology, states that the feeling of being a victim leads to learned helplessness. If you blame your problems on other people or circumstances, you will avoid taking personal responsibility for your life. While it may be true that there are things beyond your control, the majority of what happens in your life is up to YOU. Life may throw you many curveballs, but it is you who decides how you'll react to them.
His emotional self-awareness is limited; and he is not very comfortable with emotions in general (#3)
1. Stay in touch with your feelings. Pay attention to what triggers them and how you react.
2. Pay attention to your body when you're upset, sad or angry. What are the signs? Learning to recognize how you react in response to different sentiments can help you become more in tune with your emotions.
3. Be honest with yourself. Everyone feels things, and it's nothing to hide or be nervous about. Emotions are important signals that we need to listen to in order to feel more fulfilled in life.
4. Get to know yourself better. For example, make a list of your strengths and limitations. The more in touch you are with who you are, the better you will be able to understand and handle your emotions.
5. Take small steps if you're not used to expressing emotions. Start with those that are the least intimidating and you will surely find that it's not as bad as you think. On the positive side, begin with genuine compliments and then take it further to an expression of appreciation. When you need to communicate a negative feeling, try writing it if you feel too intimidated to say it. Like learning any new skill, it will get easier with practice.
His mindset could stand to be more positive (#4)
1. View setbacks as short-lived. Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed and find yourself plunging into negativity, remind yourself that things can get better. If you're having a hard time in a class you're taking, for example, or you're having relationship problems, look at it as temporary. Whatever the situation, you can take proactive steps to deal with the underlying issues. Even if you are faced with something that you will have to deal with for a lifetime (like a health problem or family issue), there is always some way to improve the situation. You will grow stronger, heal, or find better ways to cope.
2. The good and the bad. Both good and bad feelings facilitate the thinking process by allowing us to view things from different perspectives. Did you ever notice how, when thinking pessimistically about a problem, you come up with solutions that are in line with that thinking, and when you think positively, the perspective and solutions change? Our feelings, good and bad, offer us different perspectives on the world. While one perspective may be more beneficial than the other, both angles offer us valuable information about the world around us, and about ourselves.
He has a tendency to ruminate excessively (#5)
1. The source of emotions. Remember: emotion is just a whirlwind of activity passing through your body and mind. You help create it and feed it; how you react is important to its outcome. See a professional in cognitive therapy if you wish to learn concrete strategies to overcome negative thought patterns and to question any heavily ingrained beliefs.

- The next session was scheduled for Thursday 15 January 2015 at 5:00 PM.

Life Coaching Session #7: Wednesday 16 April 2015

- I asked Shane how he was feeling overall today, and he said about 6/10, which I commended him for because it was above the "radar level" of 5/10. - He said that his job at Radio Station 91.9 is going well. - Shane asked me to make replacement appointment with Dr. Nwokolo, which I agreed to do. - Shane shared with me that he went on his own to get a refill prescription for Fluoxetine from Dr. Nwokolo this past Tuesday, which I commended him for. - Shane’s Godmother hasn’t spoken to him in about 2 weeks. I asked him if he was willing to call her to patch things up and apologize, and he said yes. - Shane wants to take a course in Radio Broadcasting but he doesn’t have enough money. Star Broadcasting in St. James offers such a course and it offers a guaranteed internship program. It is less crowded than the more popular IBC. Shane will investigate the cost of the program at Star Broadcasting. - Shane wants to get a bank account so that he saves money for his studies. For this, he needs (i) his Government of Trinidad & Tobago ID card, which he will be getting next week, (ii) a letter from his employer confirming his job status, and (iii) a letter from Marian House stating that he resides there. Acknowledgements from Session #7: - I acknowledged Shane for continuing to comes to these Life and Career Coaching sessions, and for seeking counseling, in order to try improve his overall well-being. - I also acknowledged him for continuing to take his medication, and in particular, for taking the initiative in going to Dr. Nwokolo's office on his own to get a refill prescription. Takeaways from Session #7: - Shane is feeling better (6/10) than the last time we met. Action Plan from Session #7: - Mr. Hadeed agreed to make a replacement appointment with Dr. Nwokolo for Shane. The replacement appointment with Dr. Nwokolo had been booked for Thursday 30 April 2015 at 5:00 PM. - Shane agreed to call his Godmother to patch things up and apologize if necessary. - Shane agreed to investigate the cost of the course in Radio Broadcasting at Star Broadcasting in St. James. - He agreed to try to get a bank account so that he can save enough money for his studies. For this, he needs (i) his Government of Trinidad & Tobago ID card, which he will be getting next week, (ii) a letter from his employer confirming his job status, and (iii) a letter from Marian House stating that he resides there. - The next session was scheduled for Wednesday 20 May 2015 at 10:00 AM.

Life Coaching Session #8:

- - - Takeaways from Session #7: - Shane is feeling better (6/10) than the last time we met. Action Plan from Session #8: - Shane agreed to... - Shane agreed to... - Shane agreed to... - The next session was scheduled for ...

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