Leadership, Career and Life Coaching for Giselle Rostant

Click here for your: Multidimensional Emotional IQ Assessment - 9th Revision (MEIQ-R9) Click here for your: Management Skills and Styles Assessment - 4th Revision - Abridged (MANSSA - R4 - Ab) Click here for your: Coaching and Trainability Attitude Assessment (CTAA)

Coaching Session #1: Tuesday 13 March 2018

- Giselle went to St. Joseph's Convent POS, and really liked Geography out of all her subjects. - She then went on to University to study Geography. - About a year after graduating from University, she got a job as a Teacher at Dunross Preparatory School, and she has been there for the past 31 years. - She has been Principal at Dunross for the past 8 eight years, and is now in her ninth year as Principal. - The main limitation that Giselle said that she wants to work on is her communication with other teachers, especially in difficult situations. - We discussed Giselle's Emotional IQ assessment. Giselle's score on this assessment (102/155, 58th percentile) and dealing with emotions. Emotional intelligence is not only essential to healthy relationships with others, research has also shown that a healthy EIQ contributes to problem-solving ability, leadership ability, goal achievement, and professional success in general. Review the rest of Giselle's results to know which areas she needs to work on developing the most - awareness is key to helping her find the motivation to improve. - The following is a summarized version of Giselle's results, categorized as Strengths, Potential Strengths, and Limitation. EIQ competencies that Giselle has mastered She is skilled at reading body language She is open to learning and self-improvement She has a thick skin and is able to bounce back from hardship She is highly adaptable She lives her life according to her values She has a strong sense of self-worth and self-respect She regularly reflects on her emotions and the information that they can offer She has a good understanding of the complexity and depth of her emotions She is self-aware, and has a profound understanding of who she is She doesn't sweat the small stuff, preferring to let minor annoyances go She does not ruminate excessively EIQ competencies that Giselle can cultivate further She is sometimes able to accurately identify the emotions she is feeling She can adapt her social skills to different situations and people, but it isn't always easy for her She is able to resolve most conflicts reasonably well She has shown the capacity to be fairly empathetic She is reasonably flexible She generally copes with stress reasonably well She has a reasonably optimistic outlook but prefers to prepare herself for every eventuality She generally believes that she has what it takes to succeed She strives to pick her battles wisely, but some seemingly trivial issues may still upset her She occasionally seeks out other people's approval, but doesn't necessarily rely on it EIQ competencies that require development & improvement She tends to doubt herself quite often, and is not very self-confident. She is rather uncomfortable expressing her emotions She is generally ill-at-ease in emotionally intense situations or with emotional people She tends to have difficulty regulating her emotions Her limited social insight can make it difficult for her to understand other people's actions She generally doesn't set smart goals for herself She tends to struggle to motivate herself to overcome difficulties and challenges She is generally unable to assert herself effectively Acknowledgements from Session #1: - I acknowledge you for completing the MEIQ assessment. - I would also like to acknowledge you for coming to these Coaching sessions to further improve your management skills as Principal of Dunross. Takeaways from Session #1: - You expressed the fact that you feel that you now have better self-awareness of your EIQ strengths and limitations. Action Plan from Session #1: - You agreed to review the MEIQ-R9 report in more detail. - You also agreed to complete the Management Style and Skills Assessment (MANSSA - R4 -Ab) prior to the next Coaching session. - You agreed to start working on your most important EIQ limitation using the tips below: #1 You tend to doubt yourself quite often, and are not very self-confident when it comes to dealing with teachers in difficult situations.

Learn to use empathy. While you certainly can't fake empathy, you can increase your connection to other people by truly listening and trying to put yourself in their shoes. Getting involved in helping people in some way (i.e. volunteering) can help, as the closer you get to a situation, the more you will realize the difficulties others might be facing.
Hear people out. Refrain from making hasty or self-righteous judgments. Once we make a judgment about someone's behavior or feelings, we are less inclined to truly listen or understand what motivated or triggered them. In order to understand other people's behavior you need to be willing to listen objectively.
Don't fall victim to "The Fundamental Attribution Error". We as humans are forever trying to figure out the causes of other's actions. All too often, we attribute misfortunate behavior on the part of others to dispositional rather than situational factors. For instance, writing others off as jerks for snapping at you rather than looking for external causes such as being sick or having been fired that day. As a result, we are less forgiving than many situations call for. Try to understand that others are under just as much pressure and stress as you are and as a result, their behavior may not always represent who they are as people.
Keep a keen eye on body language. It would be nice if we could take what everyone said to us at face value, but unfortunately, people are not always honest. We've all asked someone how they are and received a cursory, tight-lipped, "fine" as an answer, telling us the person is anything but fine. Their body language and tone of voice says otherwise. While some people are very skilled at hiding their emotions or projecting false emotions, most of us are not, particularly if the emotion is strongly felt. Be alert to the contradictions between what people say and how they behave.
Deal with conflict in a timely manner. Having it out with a colleague in front others is not the best idea - and neither is avoiding confrontation entirely. If you need to hash out a grievance with someone, pick the right time and place. This can be difficult in the heat of the moment, but if you allow yourself to wait for a more opportune time (in private, after you have both calmed down) cooler heads will prevail and conflict resolution will be smoother. While it might be tempting and even somewhat cathartic to release your anger in the heat of the moment, chances are that you will regret it.
Be open to compromise. Conflict arises when two or more parties have opposing wants and needs. Of course, each party hopes that any agreed upon resolution will satisfy most if not all of their wishes. This may not always be the case however, and a refusal to make concessions will aggravate the conflict rather than alleviate it. Try to look past your own self-interest and think of what is the best resolution to the conflict as a whole.
Mirror the other person's style. Within reason, try to utilize similar facial expressions, posture and choice of words. This will put the other person at ease and will minimize the differences between you. For instance, if you are speaking with someone who seems to have a more limited vocabulary than you, avoid using words that not even an English major would be able to follow.
Nurture your mental and emotional flexibility. In today's world, the ability to get beyond black-and-white thinking, to be open-minded with others, to change one's way of looking at events, and to focus on the best solution for a given situation is essential for success. Without flexibility and a willingness to consider the perspectives and feelings of others, you are creating additional, unnecessary obstacles for yourself. - Build meaningful relationships that teach you about human nature. - If you're not sure how someone is feeling, ask for clarification (if it's appropriate); a simple "How are you feeling?" or "Could you explain your perspective to me?" might do the trick. - Put aside your own opinions and views, and look at the world through other person's eyes.
Think before you speak. It's a simplistic and clichéd piece of advice, but it will save you from a lot of embarrassment and regret. Before uttering a potentially loaded statement, ask yourself whether what you are about to say is worth communicating. Will it be productive to the situation or the other person? What is the best way to put it? Blurting out the first thing that jumps into your head might cause you to say something that you can't take back.
Use "I" phrases. When expressing criticism, phrasing it from your point of view is essential. For example, instead of saying "You frustrate me when you show up late", send the message from the perspective of how it makes you feel: "I feel frustrated when you're late because we miss out on some productive time. What can we do about the situation?" Essentially, say how you feel, why, and ask the other person a question that leaves the ball in their court. "You" phrases are more likely to sound accusatory, which will put the other person on the defensive.

- The next session is scheduled for Tuesday 27 March 2018 at 3:30 PM.

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