Career Coaching for Reid Jodhan

Click on the following link for your: Multidimensional Emotional Intelligence Quotient - Abridged (MEIQ-Ab) Click on the following link for your: Vocational Style and Career Assessment for Senior Students (VoSCA-SU) Click on the following link for your: God's Simple Solution - How to Stop Worrying and Make a Lasting Impact with Your Life Click on the following link for the: O*Net Online Career Research Tool

Career Coaching Session #1: Monday 7 November 2016

- Reid's E-mail address is reidrjodhan@gmail.com - Reid Jodhan is 16 years old and is turning 17 years old in December. - He is third child out of three and is the only boy. Both of his sisters are away studying in England. - Reid moved from Naparima Boys in Form 3 to Maple Leaf in Grade 10. - Reid is currently in Grade 12, and a strong interest in Engineering, initially Mechanical but now Civil. - Reid witnessed his Mother being hurt by her brother-in-law. Reid had to choose between hanging around to his mother or his Dad's family with a lot of male figures. His Mom does not attend most of his Dad's family functions. - He now has a girlfriend, but his mother restricts him to going out once for the weekend. - Reid that the past two weeks at home have been very difficult with a lot of conflicts with his mother. - Reid is not on Facebook a lot, but he uses WhatsApp and SnapChat a fair bit. During the holidays, he watches NetFlix a lot. - For higher education, his parents would ideally like to go the UK where his sisters are. She would also consider Canada and Trinidad. Reid has a few friends going to University in Canada, so he really wants to go to Canada. - His mother wants to Reid to take another year after Grade 12, to take a few more credits at Maple Leaf. - Reid said that he would rate his life at Maple Leaf Schools as 7.5/10. - He said that he would rate his relationship with his girlfriend as 8.5/10. - He rated himself in the four areas as follows: Mental: 7.5/10 Physical: 7/10 Spiritual: 4/10 Emotional: 4.5/10 - He would rate his overall feeling about his life at the moment as 5/10. - Reid said that his relationship with his Dad when he is one-on-one with him is good. - His main problem is with his mother, and he finds that she holds onto a lot of grudges from the past. Acknowledgements from Session #1: - I acknowledged Reid for completing the VoSCA-SU assessment. - I also acknowledged him for completing the MEIQ-Ab assessment. - I also acknowledged him for coming to these Life and Career Coaching sessions to get a better understanding of himself. Takeaways from Session #1: - Reid liked the being able to share what was bothering him most. Action Plan from Session #1: - Reid agreed to come for a few more Career and Life Coaching sessions to discuss his MEIQ-Ab and VoSCA-SU reports in more detail. - The next session will be scheduled for approximately a week from today.

Career Coaching Session #2: Monday 14 November 2016

- We discussed Reid's emotional IQ assessment. His score on this assessment was 84/155 and is not very strong. This is a concern because this test was designed to flag those individuals who might have limitations in understanding their own emotions and those of others. This area can certainly be improved with effort; however, for some people, it is difficult to improve without help. On a positive note, awareness is key to helping Reid find the motivation to improve in this area, and knowing which areas he most needs to work on developing.- - The following is a summarized version of Reid's results, categorized as Strengths, Potential Strengths, and Limitation.

Strengths

He is driven toward further self-development He is able to let go/rise above minor issues

Potential Strengths

He was sometimes able to recognize the emotions depicted on the test He sometimes acts in accordance with his values He chose some reasonably good forms of resolution for others' conflict situations on the test He is somewhat empathetic He is sometimes able/willing to adapt his social skills to the circumstances around him

Limitations

His overall emotional IQ needs improvement Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Identification, Perception, and Expression His emotional self-awareness is limited He doesn't seem to be entirely aware of his strengths and weaknesses He is not very comfortable with emotions in general Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Facilitation of Thought He has a tendency to ruminate excessively His approach to problem solving is not always conducive to resolution His mindset could stand to be more positive Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Understanding He struggled with the emotional integration aspect of the test His social insight ability limited Improvement is required in the area of Emotional Management His impulse control needs improvement His self-control needs improvement His resilience/hardiness needs further development He needs to work on using more healthy coping techniques He is not very self-motivated The manner in which Reid would resolve conflict situations on the test were not always the most beneficial He is not very assertive His self-esteem needs to be strengthened He does not seem to be very content He seems to struggle to act independently His flexibility is limited

- Reid chose the following five (5) EIQ limitations to work on in the coming year: #1 He has a tendency to ruminate excessively #2 His mindset could stand to be more positive #3 His self-control needs improvement #4 His approach to problem solving is not always conducive to resolution #5 His resilience/hardiness needs further development Acknowledgements from Session #2: - I acknowledged Reid for completing the VoSCA-SU assessment. - I also acknowledged him for completing the MEIQ-Ab assessment. - I also acknowledged him for coming to these Life and Career Coaching sessions to get a better understanding of himself. Takeaways from Session #2: - Reid now has a better understanding of his emotional strengths and limitations. Action Plan from Session #2: - Reid agreed to come for a few more Career and Life Coaching sessions to discuss his MEIQ-Ab and VoSCA-SU reports in more detail. - Reid agreed to review the MEIQ-Ab report in more detail. - Reid agreed to work on his five (5) main EIQ limitations in the coming year using the helpful tips given after each limitation below: #1 He has a tendency to ruminate excessively

Identify the thought or fear. What is your biggest fear? Maybe you are afraid of getting fired or looking foolish in front of others. Journaling can be a great way to clarify the underlying fear.
Think about the worst-case scenario. This may sound like an awful suggestion, but we can often handle the worst-case scenario, which takes away the power of the original thought. Ask yourself two questions: What is the worst thing that can happen? Can I handle that? Most likely, the answer is yes. Human beings are very resilient. Remember, sometimes our biggest hardships can turn into our biggest growth experiences. For example, I once worked with a client who was devastated after losing his job. He survived it, and as it turned out, this ended up being a blessing in disguise. It allowed him to find a position that fit his interests and lifestyle, leading to a more fulfilling and meaningful career.
Let go of what you can’t control. Ask yourself “what can I change, if anything?” If you cannot change the situation, let it go. For things you can change, set up a list of small goals and make the appropriate changes.
Look at mistakes as learning opportunities. According to David Burns, Ph.D., assistant professor at Stanford University, and author of Feeling Good, “the quickest way to find success is to fail over and over again.” For example, I was once 30 minutes late for an interview. I did not get the job and I became very self-critical of my tardiness. Once I asked myself “what is the lesson I learned?” I quickly calmed down and applied this lesson to future experiences. I now leave my house one hour early for interviews, which has served as a valuable lesson. No need to continue to berate myself. In addition, frequently remind yourself how far you’ve come. Every time you make a mistake, you learn something new.
Schedule a worry break. Schedule 20 to 30 minutes a day to worry and make the most of it. This allows for a time and place to think about all your biggest insecurities while containing it to a specific period of time. At other times of the day, remind yourself that you will have time to contemplate later.
Mindfulness. We spend so much time thinking about past mistakes or worrying about future events, that we spend very little time in the here and now. A good example of this is every time we find ourselves on “autopilot” while driving a car.The practice of mindfulness is a great way to reduce our “thinking” selves and increase our “sensing” selves in the here and now. For example, ask yourself what you hear, feel, smell, see and taste. This can help ground you in the present moment. Mindfulness is an important skill for enjoying the significant moments in life. Enjoying coffee with a friend can be disrupted if we begin thinking about all the things we need to do that day. When you notice your mind wandering, gently guide it back to the present.
Exercise. Go for a walk. A change of scenery can disrupt our thoughts and give us new perspective.
Try therapy. If ruminative thoughts are interfering with living the life you want to live, consider reaching out. Counseling is a great way to learn how to use these techniques with the help and guidance of a professional.

#2 His mindset could stand to be more positive

View setbacks as short-lived. Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed and find yourself plunging into negativity, remind yourself that things can get better. If you're having a hard time in a class you're taking, for example, or you're having relationship problems, look at it as temporary. Whatever the situation, you can take proactive steps to deal with the underlying issues. Even if you are faced with something that you will have to deal with for a lifetime (like a health problem or family issue), there is always some way to improve the situation. You will grow stronger, heal, or find better ways to cope.
The good and the bad. Both good and bad feelings facilitate the thinking process by allowing us to view things from different perspectives. Did you ever notice how, when thinking pessimistically about a problem, you come up with solutions that are in line with that thinking, and when you think positively, the perspective and solutions change? Our feelings, good and bad, offer us different perspectives on the world. While one perspective may be more beneficial than the other, both angles offer us valuable information about the world around us, and about ourselves.

#3 His self-control needs improvement

Step back. If you're prone to losing control of your emotions, try taking a step back from heated situations. Give yourself some time to gain control rather than reacting immediately.
Practice. Practice keeping your feelings under control (without suppressing them) and it will become more natural. Learn the appropriate times to express them so that they don't boil over in inappropriate situations.
The source of emotions. Remember: emotion is just a whirlwind of activity passing through your body and mind. You help create it and feed it; how you react is important to its outcome. See a professional in cognitive therapy if you wish to learn concrete strategies to overcome negative thought patterns and to question any heavily ingrained beliefs.
Don't try to avoid confrontation at all costs. This results in a buildup of unresolved anger and frustration for both people. Sulking and denial do not accomplish anything either. Besides, bottled up frustration finds its way out, one way or another.
Take a time out. "When angry count to ten; when very angry count to 100." It's not always easy to maintain your composure when you feel like your "buttons" are being pushed, but it is essential that you make an effort to do so. It's important to cool down emotionally when a situation makes you upset or stressed. As time passes, you will be able to be more objective about the issues and to sort out the situation more clearly. Count for as long as it takes for you to reach a state of mind conducive to the cool, rational consideration of possible consequences of your actions. This counting technique can be used no matter what the intense feeling is.

#4 His approach to problem solving is not always conducive to resolution

Put aside your own preoccupations. Consider what might be going through other people's minds in different situations. Ask yourself how you would feel in a similar situation - there are always several perspectives. Try to identify at least 2 or 3 different ways to look at it.
Understand that everyone has his or her bad days. Sure it can be hard to overlook it when someone snaps at you or is otherwise unpleasant, but remembering that nearly everyone is unpleasant sometimes when under stress (even you!) can help you learn to take things less personally.
Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Think about how your actions will affect others before you act. If you are unsure, ask! Not everyone thinks the same way you do. If your actions will have an effect on others, ask them if they are ok with the decision before you act.

#5 His resilience/hardiness needs further development

The power of perspective Life is not always easy. We all know that. How we choose the way we think, feel, and act in relation to life’s challenges can often make the difference between hope versus despair, optimism versus frustration, and victory versus defeat. With every challenging situation we encounter, ask questions such as “What is the lesson here?” “How can I learn from this experience?” “What is most important now?” and “If I think outside the box, what are some better answers?” The higher the quality of questions we ask, the better the quality of answers we will receive. Ask constructive questions based on learning and priorities, and we can gain the proper perspective to help us tackle the situation at hand. “I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” ― Thomas A. Edison
Don’t focus on the mud We should learn from the past, but not be stuck in it. Sometimes life circumstances and personal setbacks can haunt and prevent us from seeing our true potential and recognizing new opportunities. What has already happened we cannot change, but what is yet to happen we can shape and influence. At times the first step is simply to break from the past and declare that it is you, not your history, who’s in charge. Ask empowering questions such as “What matters to me now?” “How can I make a difference in this situation?” and “What’s the next step for my best interest and well-being?” Every moment we’re alive we can make new choices that help us move on and step toward a better future. If we pay attention to only mud on the ground after a storm, we won’t notice that the sky above us has already cleared. Goethe reminds us: “Nothing is worth more than this day.” Don’t focus on the mud. Make better choices today and move on.
All you have to do is ask…the right individuals In life we sometimes may feel like we’re walking alone, but we don’t have to be as long as we’re honest with ourselves, and ask for help when needed. You can find strength and support through a “board of advisors” you create. These are your “go-to” people when you’re in need of sound advice, a new perspective, a certain expertise, or simply an empathetic ear. Members of the board can include individuals you know whose opinions you respect and character you trust. Your personal B.O.A. can also include your role models from past and present, historical or fictional. Ask, for example: “What would (role model A) say about my situation?”, or “What would (role model B) do if she were in my shoes?” Asking for help is not the same as complaining. Habitual complainers dwell on what’s wrong. Successful people assume responsibility for finding the support they need to solve the problem. “Normal people have problems. The smart ones get help.” ― Daniel Amen
Thrive on your strengths while exploring new potential We each have certain dispositions in which we naturally excel. Some of us are great with people, others are handy with tools, yet others thrive on information. A mismatch between what you’re naturally good at and your work in life is wasted potential. There are a myriad of assessment tools available that can help you determine your natural strengths, as well as your areas of greatest potential. For more information regarding this point, see my article Follow Your Bliss: Discover Your True Calling in Life. “When you follow your bliss… doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors, and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else.” ― Joseph Campbell
Keep the fun and enjoyment Van Wilder from the movie of the same name said: “You shouldn’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.” No matter how difficult the circumstances, resolve to keep the fun and enjoyment in your life. Make a point to take a “mini-vacation” everyday; be it walking in the park, exercising, hugging a loved one, or taking a nice, hot bath. The more challenging and stressful life is, the more important it is to take good care of yourself so you can relax your body, ease your mind, and rejuvenate your spirit. After recharging your batteries, you may see the same situation in a different, more positive light.
Keep your options open There are many paths to opportunity, success, and happiness. We can begin by asking ourselves what true success and happiness means and looks like to us, and let our answers show the way. When one path seems to be at a dead end, look another way and see what new openings may be waiting just around the corner. Options can come from consulting the aforementioned board of advisors, thinking outside the box, daring to dream, doing something different, or simply letting go of a habit or condition that has clearly outlived its usefulness. We’re never stuck unless we have blinders on. Keep your options open. “We must dare to think 'unthinkable' thoughts. We must learn to explore all the options and possibilities that confront us in a complex and rapidly changing world.” ― James W. Fulbright
Keep the faith There are many ways to keep your faith alive: Faith in yourself, faith in your place in this world, and faith in answers the Universe has in store for you. Go to places and engage in activities that give you the greatest feeling of inner peace. When you give yourself this gift on a regular basis, what psychologists call the Higher Self emerges, as insights, inspiration, and a sense of deep knowing spring forth from the depth of your soul. The following quote by Anne Frank is just one example: “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature, and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.”As you immerse yourself in peace, ask: “What if what I’m going through is a blessing in disguise? What greater meaning exists for me now?” Put forth these and any other constructive questions that come straight from your heart. Don’t try to figure out the answers during these moments, but rather “empty your mind” and let the solutions come to you. The answers may come at that moment or later: sometimes when the time is right; sometimes when you least expect them. All you have to do is hold the questions and pay attention. Keep the faith. Find your peace within, and the answers will come!
Resolve to never, ever give up I once heard a courageous person say that there are no losers in life, except for those who give up on themselves. If you’re still alive and breathing, your purpose in this life time is not yet fulfilled. The great adventure is in discovering what that purpose is, and to live it until your last breath. If you’re reading this article, you’re probably being pulled by an inner calling to do more. That calling is your adventure waiting to happen. What are you waiting for? And what are you willing to do now? “Abraham Lincoln lost eight elections, failed twice in business and suffered a nervous breakdown before he became the president of the United States.”

- The next session was scheduled for Monday 21 November 2016 at 3:15 PM.

Career and Life Coaching Session #3: 21 November 2016

- Reid shared with me that he is leaning strongly toward a career in Civil Engineering as opposed to Mechanical Engineering. He briefly consider a career as a Lawyer a couple of years ago, but he is no longer in that career.

- He also shared with me that making a lot of money is important to him.

- Reid and I discussed the results of his VoSCA-SU assessment, specifically his scores in the various categories of Interests, Intelligence Types, Values, and Work Styles. His scores can be reviewed in the report itself.

- Here are the careers that the VoSCA-SU assessment recommended for Reid and how he rated them in terms of his passion level (1 is no passion and 10 is the highest passion):

#1 Social Science Research Assistants (3/10) #2 Spa Managers (0/10) #3 Human Resources Specialists (4/10) #4 Compensation and Benefits Managers (3/10) #5 First-Line Supervisors of Office and Administrative Support Workers (5/10) #6 First-Line Supervisors of Non-Retail Sales Workers (6.5/10) #7 Logistics Managers (7.5/10) #8 Sales Agents, Securities and Commodities (2/10) #9 Quality Control Systems Managers (6/10) #10 Sales Engineers (6.5/10) #11 Sales Representatives, Wholesale and Manufacturing, Except Technical and Scientific Products (6.5/10) #12 Foresters (0/10) #13 Agricultural Technicians (0/10) #14 Construction and Building Inspectors (7.5/10) #15 Real Estate Brokers (8/10) #16 Meeting, Convention, and Event Planners (5/10) #17 Administrative Services Managers (3/10) #18 Appraisers, Real Estate (6/10) #19 Agricultural Inspectors (2/10) #20 Insurance Sales Agents (5.5/10) #21 Storage and Distribution Managers (7.5/10) #22 Compensation, Benefits, and Job Analysis Specialists (2/10) #23 Sales Representatives, Wholesale and Manufacturing, Technical and Scientific Products (5/10) #24 Purchasing Agents, Except Wholesale, Retail, and Farm Products (7/10) #25 Sales Agents, Financial Services (2/10) #26 General and Operations Managers (7/10) #27 Transportation Managers (7/10) #28 Advertising Sales Agents (2/10) #29 First-Line Supervisors of Helpers, Laborers, and Material Movers, Hand (7.5/10) #30 Market Research Analysts and Marketing Specialists (5/10) #31 Civil Engineers (8/10)

Acknowledgements from Session #3: - I acknowledged Reid for continuing to these Career and Life Coaching sessions, and for being able to narrow down the list of his careers. Takeaways from Session #3: - Reid is confident that he is choosing the right field of careers related to building and construction, such as Civil Engineering. Action Plan from Session #3: - Reid agreed to review the VoSCA-SU report in more detail. - He also agreed to research on the Internet using the O*Net Online Career Research Tool (www.onetonline.org) the recommended careers above which he rated 6 or more out of 10, and document his research in this password-protected blog under the section at the end called “Leave a Reply”. The careers on his shortlist in order of his passion level are: #1 Civil Engineers (8/10) #2 Real Estate Brokers (8/10) #3 Construction and Building Inspectors (7.5/10) #4 Logistics Managers (7.5/10) #5 First-Line Supervisors of Helpers, Laborers, and Material Movers, Hand (7.5/10) #6 Storage and Distribution Managers (7.5/10) #7 Purchasing Agents, Except Wholesale, Retail, and Farm Products (7/10) #8 General and Operations Managers (7/10) #9 Transportation Managers (7/10) #10 Sales Engineers (6.5/10) #11 Sales Representatives, Wholesale and Manufacturing, Except Technical and Scientific Products (6.5/10) #12 First-Line Supervisors of Non-Retail Sales Workers (6.5/10) #12 Quality Control Systems Managers (6/10) #14 Appraisers, Real Estate (6/10)

- He also agreed to see if any of the careers in the Related section under each of his recommended careers in the report catch his interest, and to put those in the blog as well. In particular, he should at least copy and paste the following sections from the O*Net site into the blog: Tasks, Knowledge, Related Careers, and Wages and Employment Trends.

- The next session was scheduled for Wednesday 30 November 2016 at 2:45 PM.

Career and Life Coaching Session #4: Thursday 20 April 2017

- Reid shared with me that he is ruminating a lot on the following three main issues:

The whole family business dynamics and succession planning, and in particular, his cousin Venessa's behaviour (50%)
His relationship with his girlfriend not working out (35%)
His current relationship with his mother and his family dynamics in general (15%)

- I shared with Reid an article that I wrote entitled: "How to Stop Worrying and Make a Lasting Impact with Your Life". In summary, the main advice of the article is as follows: What the Lord wants you and I to do is to name our burdens for Him one by one, and to give them to Him completely without holding back any of these burdens. You will know whether you've given Him your burdens completely if you have ceased to think and worry about them. Try this with Jesus: think of your first burden and then picture yourself taking it out of your mind and out of your heart, and putting it into the open hands of Jesus. Spend a few minutes picturing yourself giving Jesus this burden. When you stop thinking about this burden anymore, and when it no longer occupies any of your thoughts or your emotions, then you know that you've given this burden over to Jesus. Then choose your next burden and do the same thing, and do not move on to the next burden until you've given this next burden completely to Him. Then do this for the rest of your burdens until your heart and your mind are completely free of all your burdens and worries. Now that your heart and your mind are completely free and available to Jesus, ask him what His burdens are. He may say to you: "My main burden is seeing so many of My children lose their souls for all eternity, and so I want you to pray for the conversion of sinners. Or "I want you to pray for families that are in crisis." Or "I want you to pray for young people who seem to have lost their way and have a sense of hopelessness as they look to the future." Whatever you feel Jesus is asking you to pray for in your heart, spend the next few minutes, and even throughout the day when you do have time, praying fervently from your heart for that intention. Pray with all your heart, with all your energy, and with your entire mind. Offer your sufferings of the day in union with your prayer, and in union with Jesus' suffering on the cross for that intention, and especially for the salvation of souls. Now you have truly taken Jesus' yoke upon you, which as He said, is easy and light. So now you have given the Lord your burdens, and you have taken His yoke upon your shoulders. - This is the main remedy to stop ruminating about whateber problems you have in your life. Acknowledgements from Session #4: - I acknowledged Reid for taking the initiative and coming in for a Life Coaching session. Takeaways from Session #4: - Reid feels better that he was able to name the issues that are causing him the most amount of worry in his life right now. Action Plan from Session #4: - You agreed to read the article that I printed for you entitled: "How to Stop Worrying and Make a Lasting Impact with Your Life" - You agreed to practice the tips given in the article to help you to stop ruminating about the three major issues in your life at this moment, namely:

The whole family business dynamics and succession planning, and in particular, your cousin Venessa's behaviour (50%)
Your relationship with your girlfriend not working out (35%)
Your current relationship with your mother and your family dynamics in general (15%)

- The next session was scheduled for Thursday 27 April 2017 at 3:00 PM.

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