Life Coaching for Michael Wong Sing

Click on the following link for your: Multidimensional Emotional Intelligence Quotient - Abridged (MEIQ-Ab)

Life Coaching Session #1: Monday 15 August 2016

- Michael's E-mail address is wongsingmichael@gmail.com - Michael is 14 years old and he lives at home with his mother, father and older sister. - He is currently going into Form 4 at Fatima College. Print

- We discussed how Michael would rate himself today in terms of his emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health, and how he would like to see himself progress in these areas in the next two years at the end of Form 5. Here are Michael's responses: Mental: 7/10 -> 9/10 Emotional: 6/10 -> 8/10 Physical: 7/10 -> 8/10 Spiritual: 8/10 -> 9/10 - Next, we reviewed Michael's MEIQ-Ab assessment. His score on the assessment is satisfactory (104/155, 61st percentile), but there is room for improvement. Overall, he is adequately skilled at understanding and dealing with emotions, but he needs to further develop his skills. Awareness is key to helping him find the motivation to improve in this area, and knowing which areas he most needs to work on developing. - Michael chose the following four EIQ limitations that he would like to work on in the coming year: #1 He is not very comfortable with emotions in general #2 He is not very assertive #3 His mindset could stand to be more positive #4 He needs to work on using more healthy coping techniques - Michael shared with me that his biggest struggle is with his older sister. He shared that she is constantly on her smartphone, and she often neglects to do her chores. Everyone else in the family ends up having to do her chores, and when Michael speaks to her about it, she doesn't seem to care and continues to spend time on her smartphone. - We also spoke about the following two Scripture passages:

Matthew 28:20 "And behold, I am with you until the end of time."
Revelation 3:20 "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and dine with him and he with me."

- I suggested to Michael that he should try to meditate often on these two Scripture passages, and to believe in his heart that Jesus is always close to him, and even knows how many hairs he has on his head! I also suggested to him that Heaven is all around us, probably in another dimension. So when we pray, we must believe that God hears our prayers right away. This will help Michael express his emotions better because it means that he doesn't have to wait to express them to another person. Jesus is always with him, and so he can express his true emotions to the Lord throughout the day as they happen. Acknowledgements from Life Coaching Session #1: - I acknowledged Michael for completing the Multidimensional Emotional Intelligence Quotient assessment. - I also acknowledged him for participating in these Life Coaching sessions to get a better understanding of his emotions and those of others. Takeaways from Session #1: - Michael feels he now has better self-awareness in terms of his emotional IQ, and which areas he needs to work on the most. Action Plan from Life Coaching Session #1: - Michael agreed to review the MEIQ-Ab report in more detail. - I suggested to Michael that he should try to meditate often on the two Scripture passages below, and to believe in his heart that Jesus is always close to him, and even knows how many hairs he has on his head! I also suggested to him that Heaven is all around us, probably in another dimension. So when we pray, we must believe that God hears our prayers right away. This will help Michael express his emotions better because it means that he doesn't have to wait to express them to another person. Jesus is always with him, and so he can express his true emotions to the Lord throughout the day as they happen.

Matthew 28:20 "And behold, I am with you until the end of time."
Revelation 3:20 "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and dine with him and he with me."

- Michael also agreed to work on his four main EIQ limitations, one at a time for two months each, using the advice given below each limitation as follows: #1 He is not very comfortable with emotions in general

Stay in touch with your feelings. Pay attention to what triggers them and how you react.
Pay attention to your body when you're upset, sad or angry. What are the signs? Learning to recognize how you react in response to different sentiments can help you become more in tune with your emotions.
Be honest with yourself. Everyone feels things, and it's nothing to hide or be nervous about. Emotions are important signals that we need to listen to in order to feel more fulfilled in life.
Get to know yourself better. For example, make a list of your strengths and limitations. The more in touch you are with who you are, the better you will be able to understand and handle your emotions.
Take small steps if you're not used to expressing emotions. Start with those that are the least intimidating and you will surely find that it's not as bad as you think. On the positive side, begin with genuine compliments and then take it further to an expression of appreciation. When you need to communicate a negative feeling, try writing it if you feel too intimidated to say it. Like learning any new skill, it will get easier with practice.

#2 He is not very assertive

Start small. Try to be assertive in mildly tense situations, such as requesting to be seated at a different spot at a restaurant.
Learn to say no. People worry that saying no is selfish. It’s not. Rather, setting healthy limits is important to having healthy relationships.
Let go of guilt. Being assertive can be tough — especially if you’ve been passive or a people-pleaser most of your life. The first few times it can feel unnerving. But remember that being assertive is vital to your well-being. “Assertive behavior that involves advocating for oneself in a way that is respectful of others is not wrong — it is healthy self-care,” Marter said.
Express your needs and feelings. Don’t assume that someone will automatically know what you need. You have to tell them. Again, be specific, clear, honest and respectful.

#3 His mindset could stand to be more positive

View setbacks as short-lived. Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed and find yourself plunging into negativity, remind yourself that things can get better. If you're having a hard time in a class you're taking, for example, or you're having relationship problems, look at it as temporary. Whatever the situation, you can take proactive steps to deal with the underlying issues. Even if you are faced with something that you will have to deal with for a lifetime (like a health problem or family issue), there is always some way to improve the situation. You will grow stronger, heal, or find better ways to cope.
The good and the bad. Both good and bad feelings facilitate the thinking process by allowing us to view things from different perspectives. Did you ever notice how, when thinking pessimistically about a problem, you come up with solutions that are in line with that thinking, and when you think positively, the perspective and solutions change? Our feelings, good and bad, offer us different perspectives on the world. While one perspective may be more beneficial than the other, both angles offer us valuable information about the world around us, and about ourselves.

#4 He needs to work on using more healthy coping techniques

Get moving. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress.
Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress. Distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts” and, when possible, say “no” to taking on too much.
Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life, limit the amount of time you spend with that person, or end the relationship.
Alter the situation. If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.
Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, be more assertive and communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the stress will increase.
Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
Accept the things you can’t change. Many sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors, such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.
Make time for fun and relaxation. Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors.

Protected: Life Coaching rjr33Km2